How does love die?

my parents were together for 20 years. my mom loves my dad with all her heart. but my dads love for my mom died. how does love after 20 years go away? i dont understand it. my parents were the epitome of love and they gave me hope for my future love. and now i cant believe that i will ever love someone. i'm afraid of loving someone and them not loving me back. ive had my heart broken once. and the pain was not worth it. i think im stuck being single forever..its safer that way. but how does love just go away? why do people stop loving someone?

How does love die?
I'm so sorry to hear that and my heart goes out to you. My parents have been married for 23 years and honestly, I don't believe that they truly love each other. I don't think that their love died; I don't think it was never there to begin with. I think they like each other enough to have gotten married. They argue a lot and don't share any romance, love or intimacy. I think that they just find it easy to keep on how they've been than start over now.





But you pose a very interesting question. How does love die? If it does die, was it ever really love? Here's an interesting quote on the subject:





"Is love supposed to last throughout all time, or is it like trains changing at random stops. If I loved her, how could I leave her? If I felt that way then, how come I don't feel anything now?" - Jeff Melvoin





By definition, love is supposed to be a completely selfless, unconditional affection and affinity for another. How could this change? Perhaps due to a change in the object of your love. Maybe that person changes from the way you once adored. Or maybe love is not always as selfless as one would like to believe. Maybe some one can simply lose interest in that which once intigued them. However, all this leads back the the secondary question: If this were the reason for the lose of love, was it truly love to begin with? I do believe that I've found the man of my dreams. The man I want to spend the rest of my life with. A man without whom, my life would be empty and meaningless. Will this change in 20 years? I hope not; and at the present time, cannot even fathom it. But that's the risk I have to take. Don't give up on love. Never lose hope. Just because it happend to your parents does not mean it is destined to happen to you or anybody else. There are also 80 year old couples out there who are still madly in love. Get out there, take a risk, and fall in love.
Reply:It's not about love. It's about being compatible. How do you know your Dad doesn't love your mom? It's possible that he has changed and they aren't a match anymore.





You may think you know your parents really well, but the relationship that two people have is always a great deal more complicated than other people think. To you, they are mom and dad. To each other, they are something else entirely and it has nothing to do with you.





Love is not easy. Love isn't "all you need." There are times when I HATE my husband. Oh yeah. I wanna squish his little head sometimes. Then there are times where I wanna hug him until he pops. It's up and down. On both sides.





You need to give up your childish, romantic fantasies about happily ever after. Love is great, but it's hard, too. One day, you will find the man that's worth it. I did. It might not happen for a while. Don't let life be so serious. Kiss a lot of frogs until you find your prince. Have fun. Enjoy it. It NEVER has to get serious if you don't want it too. Look at Samantha from "Sex and the City" (although I wouldn't recommend the promiscuous behavior). Samantha has the right attitude, though. It's about ENJOYING people.





You'll figure it out eventually.
Reply:That guy who wrote "can I masturbate" is an idiot.





And I dont exactly know how people can just stop loving people, I know exactly what you man though. and unfortunatly I have had the joy of having my heart broken more than once...





Real True love, never goes away for some people, some others just arent capable of being with other people.
Reply:It die when the other person, have outgrown the love, they still love the person, but not in love with them anymore.
Reply:love dose not just go away,it takes a break then comes back in a different form.i believe they don't stop loving that person,they just don't love them in the same way they once did......
Reply:I dont think love ever dies for someone you loved before.. i.e. if you have truely loved that person once upon a time.. Some love still remains... esp because of the memories..





In your parents case... I would not like comment on them. Your dad must be having his issues.. but im sure he must have not done it on purpose.. it must have just happened.. sad but... love does fade away if its not nurtured %26amp; well looked after....





I do not think you should get seriously influenced by your parents situation. Every relationship is different.. every life is different... you must pick up the positives from your parents relationship and be hopeful of finding your true love... Dont be afraid to get hurt.... If there's love there will be hurt.... if there's no hurt then there wasnt any love.....
Reply:I dont believe that love ever dies. I believe that people in a relationship as long as theirs they get in a confortable setting and just get bored. I believe some where deep down your father still loves your mother. He just might need a little help finding that love again. Maybe they just need to seperate for a little bit and maybe start dating a little bit. Do things that brought them together in the first place. Good luck. Dont doubt that you will never find love. Its out there just look.
Reply:This is a question for your parents; not us. Every relationship is different.





I remember when my cousin's husband was killed in an accident. It really, really bothered me because he died only 2 weeks after they were married and 3 days after she found out she was pregnant with their second child. For the longest time I was so afraid of falling in love out of fear that I would lose it. Fortunately, I did fall in love and I was able to overcome that fear. I am eternally thankful that I didn't give up on love. You just have to remember that you are not your parents. You are not doomed to face THEIR fate. Give it time and actively work on it (be confident, have fath, etc).
Reply:Every day you have to look at that person you love and tell them you love them. If you let days go by silent then things start to fall aray. You must truly want to love taht person everyday. When you say I love you make sure it is true and its not just routine cause then you will start second guessing.
Reply:Your life does not have to be that way sweetie...come on you sound so negative now. If you stay negative, your life will be full of it. so stop it! be positive and learn from you parents life. sometimes people grow apart for no reason. sometimes they raise kids and the women spends so much time with thier kids that the husband is ignored! that's what happens and then when the kids grow up all of a sudden the mother is like...wow..what happend, she has forgotten how to love her husband and the husband poor guy loses the interest. i believe the relationship of the parents should always come first!
Reply:Girl, I feel the same way. Everyone does at some point. You cannot use your mom and dad as an example of every relationship that you come into contact with though.Your parents (Dad in particular) may have their reasons. Would you spend 20 years in a relationship and then wake up to realize that this person isn't meant for you? Probably not. But... Every relationship is different and sometimes you have to put your heart on the line and have some courage. Sometimes the greatest ones require a little extra faith and work...
Reply:love doesnt die. maybe your dad just thought that he loved your mom. if he really did nothing couldve ruined the relationship, but that should only give you strength to try harder in your relationships to be better. dont make a judgement that you cant love based on your parents, everyone is different
Reply:It's like this: A man will deal with a woman's constant nagging, beitching, complaining, and berating for many years. He hides it for many reasons...friends, kids, work, etc, etc. Then one day he realizes that life is too short to be with someone WHO IS KILLING THEM and decides to walk away and be HAPPY!





Good for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:I only wish that I knew the answer... I'm afraid of the exact same thing. I mean can you think of that is more painful than loving someone when they don't love you back? Love is a very risky thing. It's all about taking chances and putting yourself out there...


I totally understand how you feel, but there's a saying I heard that I liked, "maybe love is a mistake, but its worth making"


Try to remember that... Nothing brings you more pain than love, but I don't think anything brings you as much pleasure as love either.
Reply:Love never dies. Its infinite.
Reply:Hey,


Yes, you are right, love dies as well. The reason is that that people do not know how to maintain relationship. Most people think if they finf their soulmate then they can be lover forever but that is not true. You got to maintain ralationship and you got to tune it up everyday otherwise it dies infront of your eyes.
Reply:There may be an underlying reason that you possibly dont know about. People can split up for many reasons.


Maybe they are just drifting apart naturally.


Whatever you do, Dont blame yourself, keep your chin up and do your best to support both of them. xo
Reply:How does love die, slowly and over time. Most people that fall out of love begin with small items (IE snoring, lost interest in the others daily events, etc.). This continues and grows over time where one or both feel that they are just friends living together.





If it is just one person, it is usually when the mate ends up forgetting the needs of the person and the person notes all issues of the mate. The person begins to lose interest in the mate to the point that they fall out of love. In some cases, the person may being to resent the mate. I know this sounds selfish of the person, but in a relationship, it takes two to make it work.





In divorce, the children usually don't find out the reasons that somebody falls out of love. This is usually the secret that is kept by the parent(s). After time, the parents may open to their children about the failed marriage and what occurred, but this is not usual.
Reply:I think certain actions and words can act as attacks on the love between two people. If you hurt that love with too many attacks, or if no one seems to care what happens the love will fade. Don't give up on love, I nearly gave up myself. I don't know what you went through but I got hurt real deep. Giving up makes that last person the ruler of your lovelife. Love will always be, but it thrives where people put effort into cultivating it.
Reply:- i'll say too much info about ur bf...


- nothing to look forward to..


- the spark is gone...


- ect.





breaking your heart is part in a relationship... the more u break it the more you learn... u cant always play same.. life is about taking a risk.. but dont give everything for love,coz if that person leave u, u got nothing left.... all the happy things has to end in sadness...
Reply:Society doesn't encourage 'love'
Reply:I dont think that love ever go's away,,,, I think it just goes to a diffrent level, I believe we just dont fall in Love, we Make love , we make it within everything we do for each other, We make it our, own, It becomes, our special love, that no one else understands, It's our one thing , that we both share, with each and no other, thats why when we split, It hurts so much, and we think we are going to Die , we must learn from this pain, And remember this special Love , that We Had, To share, And Grow, To go to the next level, of a deeper love, The Love That you feel , Is the love that You give, PS,,,,,,,,,,,, happy valentine's day