when your a teen and you say that your in love. But it seems that every one who is older then you say your not in love your young and that the person your with your going to leave theme soon. Its true but for some one to say that your not in love is wrong. If your in love then u are in love even if it is only at the time that you where with that person. why is it that just becuse our a teen and yes u do have your life ahead of u does not mean that your not in love. I mean u can look at older couples who i guess have the right to fall in love break up some even after years of beeing married. And when u are with some one and they say dont think that u well get married to this person. Why not when you are in a relationship you dont go into it thing okay its going end soon no u go in thing i love this person and lets see how far it can go. Just because your young does not mean that you cant fall in love in old peoplw who are in love break up.
Falling in love at ayoung age?
I agree. I personally think it's the stupidest thing for someone older to tell you that you're too young to be in love. Surely there is no age at which we learn the true meaning of love. With age comes wisdom right? But love isn't a piece of information, love is a feeling. I'm guessing adults tell us teens that we're not in love because we're still young and we make foolish decisions. However, adults are breaking up, getting divorced, and being heart broken. So how would any of those have happened without someone making a foolish decision at least one point in their relationship?
Reply:yes, you can love at a young age and if you was to break up in you really truely love him/her it would hurt just as much as if you were a lot older!!!
Reply:I think you shouldn't listen to anyone besides your self believe in your heart and no body else!!!!!!! good luck and do whats wright I'm kind of in the same point to!!!
Reply:yes alot of older ppl will say that to someone very young. all they need to do to understand is think back to when they were that age to remember someone they fell for. love can happen at any age i think. parents tend to take it so lightly and call it puppy love.
Reply:Love has NO age limit
Reply:it's probably because you are excited about your new love and they are jealous. they can't stand to see you happy because they are miserable. pay no attention to them, mainly because they may have many years on you and still don't know what love is, because they don't they think you coudn't. some young people are wise beyond their years.
Reply:dude you are so right.
Reply:i agree 100%
Reply:I'll be the first to admit that i'm sure that i'm young and in love. Even though many people tell me yes your young there are other people out there,, i've been with someone i've known for awhile and have dated and been through many things to ever get rid of. No matter how many arguements we go through or break ups they never last the longest break up was 4 days but it's over little things like the "what if questions run through both of our heads a lot". But we're never able to let go of each other we say we can but we always end up coming back and we don't break up for good like older people do. but then again i guess there's still time
Monday, May 4, 2009
Does anybody recognize this song, the colour of love, I heard in 1993?
Here are the lyrics of the song and yes Im the same guy that has been asking this same question over and over again.
What is love, say it
what is love, say it
what is love, say it
What is the colour of love (4X)
We we we gotta gotta get get ya,
Oh Oh eh eh I I bet ya,
We we we gotta get your love (2x)
Tell me what is the colour of
Tell me what is the colour of
Tell me what is the colour of love
What is the colour of love (4X)
What is the colour of love (3x)
love, love, love,love
(Hardcore keyboard hook)
In your eyes, I say it
In your eyes, I say it
What is the colour of love (4X)
We we we gotta gotta get get ya,
Oh Oh eh eh I I bet ya,
We we we gotta get your love (2x)
Tell me what is the colour of
Tell me what is the colour of
Tell me what is the colour of love
What is the colour of love (4X)
What is the colour of love (3x)
love, love, love,love
Is this is a song from an actual artist or group or is the title different?
Does anybody recognize this song, the colour of love, I heard in 1993?
Try searching at rhapsody.com Good Luck
Reply:Boys II Men
What is love, say it
what is love, say it
what is love, say it
What is the colour of love (4X)
We we we gotta gotta get get ya,
Oh Oh eh eh I I bet ya,
We we we gotta get your love (2x)
Tell me what is the colour of
Tell me what is the colour of
Tell me what is the colour of love
What is the colour of love (4X)
What is the colour of love (3x)
love, love, love,love
(Hardcore keyboard hook)
In your eyes, I say it
In your eyes, I say it
What is the colour of love (4X)
We we we gotta gotta get get ya,
Oh Oh eh eh I I bet ya,
We we we gotta get your love (2x)
Tell me what is the colour of
Tell me what is the colour of
Tell me what is the colour of love
What is the colour of love (4X)
What is the colour of love (3x)
love, love, love,love
Is this is a song from an actual artist or group or is the title different?
Does anybody recognize this song, the colour of love, I heard in 1993?
Try searching at rhapsody.com Good Luck
Reply:Boys II Men
My love for you Ty will always be in my heart .... you know when u found ur 1 true love when.....?
You know when you have found true love...when your heart beats so hard and fast for someone, your love for them is unexplainable and mind blowing. You and this person will have so much love for each other that you can not put the words together to explain to them how much you love them. You wake up every day and that's is the first person you will think of, and the last before you go to bed. You and this person will love each other they will look in your eyes and say I don't know where I would be without you in my life...I'd be lost. You will be the happiest person even down the line in a few years when things tend to die out, if they come home and your heart will race or when you get out of work you can't drive home fast enough to see them and jump in there arms. Overall this person will suit you and make you happy in every single different way possible, you will say I never though love could be like this, or never thought you could ever love someone so much in your in tire life. Ultimately, you will know in your heart when you will meet the true love of your life because it will be a different kind of feeling that you have never of felt before in your entire life.
My love for you Ty will always be in my heart .... you know when u found ur 1 true love when.....?
That's not love. That's the feeling of not being lonely anymore...and getting rid of that desperation.
How about you ask a real question next time?
Reply:.....when the guy can see you in your ratty sweats, looking like a bloated, fat, homely slob and still want to kiss you. Haven't found that yet.
but seems like the guys can let themselves go, and girls should be OK with that....
what's with the double standard?
bleaching
My love for you Ty will always be in my heart .... you know when u found ur 1 true love when.....?
That's not love. That's the feeling of not being lonely anymore...and getting rid of that desperation.
How about you ask a real question next time?
Reply:.....when the guy can see you in your ratty sweats, looking like a bloated, fat, homely slob and still want to kiss you. Haven't found that yet.
but seems like the guys can let themselves go, and girls should be OK with that....
what's with the double standard?
bleaching
Does 'Love' have to be reciprocated in order for it to be real?
I fell in love with someone last year after knowing them for a few months
It wasn't reciprocated and we went our separate ways.
The overwhelming feedback I have had from friends, family, online correspondents and even a therapist I hired (and still see because of this issue) is that if the Love wasn't reciprocated that it isn't really 'Love'
This seems absurd to me.
That one can only be deemed healthy if the Love is reciprocated and if it isn't one should:
"Let it go"
"Move on"
"Find someone else"
"Get a hobby"
"They aren't worth it"
"Get over it"
It's odd that one is seen as 'dysfunctional' if one continues to love someone who doesn't love them back
This makes 'Love' seem very expendable - like it's a shirt you buy and it doesn't fit so you can discard it.
Anyway I am going to have this out with my therapist this week because I like to look at things from all angles.
If you continue to love someone who has gone one is accused of being obsessed ... the Love should
Does 'Love' have to be reciprocated in order for it to be real?
Yes, you have a point...and you sound very intelligent.
I believe that you can certainly love someone without being loved in return. Look at newborn babies: parents love their children before the children learn to love in return. It is clearly one-sided at first.
Look at religions. Christianity teaches that Jesus/God loves everyone, whether or not they love Him back. Does that mean the love is not "real?" Just because it's not reciprocated?
Loving someone isn't dysfunctional. But when you spend all your time thinking about someone who doesn't care about you, it DOES become dysfunctional because you aren't being productive. You can still love someone and try to move on with your life.
But I understand where you're coming from with the "let it go" type comments. It's not that easy. It's not easy to eat healthy, exercise, or get up in the morning either. We just have to do it, even though we all know it's painful.
Reply:No I dont think love has to be reciprocated in order for it to be real. you can love someone who may never love you back.. but the reality of loving someone and not having them love you back is what you need to deal with.
Reply:I think it can be "real", but if it's not reciprocated it's only realistic to "let it go" and "move on" at some point. There's nothing wrong with expecting a person to be realistic.
Reply:When it's reciprocated, it certainly will help you avoid all those darn stalker laws. You might wanna, oughta find another one, k?
Reply:This is a scary proposition that you present. I am glad that you are seeking therapy. It can only be a good thing.
Reply:You can truly love someone and them not love you back. This is just saying you weren't meant for each other. It doesn't mean that the love you had for that person was diminished. This makes for a painful time for you when you put your heart out there and someone doesn't accept it. there isn't anything ;you can do if the guy doesn't love you the way want him to. You can't make him love you. Next time make sure you aren't looking for someone to love. take it slow and look for a guy to be a good friend. Develop your relationship with him until it grows into love for both of you. Love doesn't happen overnight. it starts like a grain of sand and slowly fills up the beach. You will find the guy for you some day. Just be patient and trust that it will happen. You can't make it happen.
Reply:Dood... First of all... you can't buy love, okay? So don't compare it to a nice shirt you bought that doesn't fit. Plus the shirt will never love you back in a bazillion years.
Anyways. I see your point. Your definition of love is wrong. It might be appropriate for a shirt, your favorite tv show, or your favorite flavored ice cream, but it is not appropriate for Love associated with couples...aka people.
Yea, you can love your little nephew because he's so cute; and maybe he hates you because you always give him a bear hug and a noogie, which he hates. That is a form unreciprical love. Yes, that is expendable, as you say. You can choose not to love the little brat back because he doesn't mean all that much to you.
But the love you seek is couple love. That's when two people care enough for each other to want to be together. They don't have to have anything in common, just the common desire to want to make each other happy because it brings them joy to do so. That's love. That's not expendable because it's so hard to find that right person. Some people search their whole life and never find that person. Some people end up just "settling". There's no such thing as "real" love. What is real is in the eye of the beholder. Love is infinitely complex and only gets stronger over time as you spend more and more time together.
What you have is just desire. You desire someone who does not know or desire you back. Rest assure, though, you'll find someone. There's a person for everyone! When you enjoy making someone happy and they enjoy making you happy, you know you've found the one. Then nothing else will matter to you!
Right now. I desire pizza, which I also happen to love almost as much as I love my wife. That was meant to be funny, by the way.
It wasn't reciprocated and we went our separate ways.
The overwhelming feedback I have had from friends, family, online correspondents and even a therapist I hired (and still see because of this issue) is that if the Love wasn't reciprocated that it isn't really 'Love'
This seems absurd to me.
That one can only be deemed healthy if the Love is reciprocated and if it isn't one should:
"Let it go"
"Move on"
"Find someone else"
"Get a hobby"
"They aren't worth it"
"Get over it"
It's odd that one is seen as 'dysfunctional' if one continues to love someone who doesn't love them back
This makes 'Love' seem very expendable - like it's a shirt you buy and it doesn't fit so you can discard it.
Anyway I am going to have this out with my therapist this week because I like to look at things from all angles.
If you continue to love someone who has gone one is accused of being obsessed ... the Love should
Does 'Love' have to be reciprocated in order for it to be real?
Yes, you have a point...and you sound very intelligent.
I believe that you can certainly love someone without being loved in return. Look at newborn babies: parents love their children before the children learn to love in return. It is clearly one-sided at first.
Look at religions. Christianity teaches that Jesus/God loves everyone, whether or not they love Him back. Does that mean the love is not "real?" Just because it's not reciprocated?
Loving someone isn't dysfunctional. But when you spend all your time thinking about someone who doesn't care about you, it DOES become dysfunctional because you aren't being productive. You can still love someone and try to move on with your life.
But I understand where you're coming from with the "let it go" type comments. It's not that easy. It's not easy to eat healthy, exercise, or get up in the morning either. We just have to do it, even though we all know it's painful.
Reply:No I dont think love has to be reciprocated in order for it to be real. you can love someone who may never love you back.. but the reality of loving someone and not having them love you back is what you need to deal with.
Reply:I think it can be "real", but if it's not reciprocated it's only realistic to "let it go" and "move on" at some point. There's nothing wrong with expecting a person to be realistic.
Reply:When it's reciprocated, it certainly will help you avoid all those darn stalker laws. You might wanna, oughta find another one, k?
Reply:This is a scary proposition that you present. I am glad that you are seeking therapy. It can only be a good thing.
Reply:You can truly love someone and them not love you back. This is just saying you weren't meant for each other. It doesn't mean that the love you had for that person was diminished. This makes for a painful time for you when you put your heart out there and someone doesn't accept it. there isn't anything ;you can do if the guy doesn't love you the way want him to. You can't make him love you. Next time make sure you aren't looking for someone to love. take it slow and look for a guy to be a good friend. Develop your relationship with him until it grows into love for both of you. Love doesn't happen overnight. it starts like a grain of sand and slowly fills up the beach. You will find the guy for you some day. Just be patient and trust that it will happen. You can't make it happen.
Reply:Dood... First of all... you can't buy love, okay? So don't compare it to a nice shirt you bought that doesn't fit. Plus the shirt will never love you back in a bazillion years.
Anyways. I see your point. Your definition of love is wrong. It might be appropriate for a shirt, your favorite tv show, or your favorite flavored ice cream, but it is not appropriate for Love associated with couples...aka people.
Yea, you can love your little nephew because he's so cute; and maybe he hates you because you always give him a bear hug and a noogie, which he hates. That is a form unreciprical love. Yes, that is expendable, as you say. You can choose not to love the little brat back because he doesn't mean all that much to you.
But the love you seek is couple love. That's when two people care enough for each other to want to be together. They don't have to have anything in common, just the common desire to want to make each other happy because it brings them joy to do so. That's love. That's not expendable because it's so hard to find that right person. Some people search their whole life and never find that person. Some people end up just "settling". There's no such thing as "real" love. What is real is in the eye of the beholder. Love is infinitely complex and only gets stronger over time as you spend more and more time together.
What you have is just desire. You desire someone who does not know or desire you back. Rest assure, though, you'll find someone. There's a person for everyone! When you enjoy making someone happy and they enjoy making you happy, you know you've found the one. Then nothing else will matter to you!
Right now. I desire pizza, which I also happen to love almost as much as I love my wife. That was meant to be funny, by the way.
Love problem.?
Im a 23yr old grl n ive been wid this guy for d last 7 ½ yrs. After all this time one wud think we ought to have grown so close n totally transparent.but sadly that isn’t the case.i have always loved him ever so dearly n never missed any opportunity to show that I care.i like doing small,big,all kinds of things for him to make him feel special n cared for.but,that hasn’t ever happened frm his end.leave apart doing things out of the blue,he dosent even do basic things that someone in love does.that has been building up this thought in my mind….that he dosent love me.i have discussed it with him in every way possible.tried to explain it to him in all ways.but all he says is…. “its a guy’s thing dat I wont understand.that its coz I think too much abt things,coz he has more in life to worry abt than how to please his gf,dat these things r for puppy love”,n above all he says that “everything will be ok after marriage.that he will do everything for me once im his wife!” wenever I try to leave him,he dosent let me go,coz he says he loves me so madly,although I don’t feel that’s true even a bit.i love him.i don’t want to leave him.but I cant even take any more of this indifference/unconcern…..it hurts too much.i don’t understand….why wudnt he love me back?i heard love cn move mountains…well in my case it dosent even seem to move one person…it feels like such a huge failure…of me being a grl,in the matter of hearts.
Wat shud I do?
Love problem.?
just don't worry about it go to a water park
Reply:then he is Not the guy for you! how they treat you know is how they will treat you forever! nobody changes through one wedding day!!!!!!!!! and if youre the only one making a effort to try and makethings work and be fun and he doesnt do the same then he should not be the guy for you!
Wat shud I do?
Love problem.?
just don't worry about it go to a water park
Reply:then he is Not the guy for you! how they treat you know is how they will treat you forever! nobody changes through one wedding day!!!!!!!!! and if youre the only one making a effort to try and makethings work and be fun and he doesnt do the same then he should not be the guy for you!
Love/big crush/infactation...what do you think she is feeling???...or is she just flat out confused!!!?
i have two very confusing situations both with the same girl...what do you think???
1this girl says shes in love with me...told me she loves me more than once...ye i told her bak. But she only shows it half way to me...but to other boys that she loves...she shows it fully...what does this mean...she loves them more or she just like me a lot and not love....or is it infactuation...she said and seemed that she really loves me.
2as i said she shows her affection and love for me only half way...the only times she shows it fully...is when we are in an argument and are not talking...what is it... she doesnt want to lose me...i feel...that she does'nt have me in a high position in her love life...so im not that important
Love/big crush/infactation...what do you think she is feeling???...or is she just flat out confused!!!?
yeah. i think you are both confused. dating is hard enough without having to share as well. so dont. if she wont be with you exclusive, than that should tell you how she feels. end of story.
1this girl says shes in love with me...told me she loves me more than once...ye i told her bak. But she only shows it half way to me...but to other boys that she loves...she shows it fully...what does this mean...she loves them more or she just like me a lot and not love....or is it infactuation...she said and seemed that she really loves me.
2as i said she shows her affection and love for me only half way...the only times she shows it fully...is when we are in an argument and are not talking...what is it... she doesnt want to lose me...i feel...that she does'nt have me in a high position in her love life...so im not that important
Love/big crush/infactation...what do you think she is feeling???...or is she just flat out confused!!!?
yeah. i think you are both confused. dating is hard enough without having to share as well. so dont. if she wont be with you exclusive, than that should tell you how she feels. end of story.
Does 'Love' have to be reciprocated in order for it to be real?
I fell in love with someone last year after knowing them for a few months
It wasn't reciprocated and we went our separate ways.
The overwhelming feedback I have had from friends, family, online correspondents and even a therapist I hired (and still see because of this issue) is that if the Love wasn't reciprocated that it isn't really 'Love'
This seems absurd to me.
That one can only be deemed healthy if the Love is reciprocated and if it isn't one should:
"Let it go"
"Move on"
"Find someone else"
"Get a hobby"
"They aren't worth it"
"Get over it"
It's odd that one is seen as 'dysfunctional' if one continues to love someone who doesn't love them back
This makes 'Love' seem very expendable - like it's a shirt you buy and it doesn't fit so you can discard it.
Anyway I am going to have this out with my therapist this week because I like to look at things from all angles.
If you continue to love someone who has gone one is accused of being obsessed ... the Love should
Does 'Love' have to be reciprocated in order for it to be real?
Sadly ... it does seem at this time that you are Obsessed.
Yes, you DO (and DID) have valid feelings ... but when the other moved on ... when they stepped away and did not want a relationship --
One needs to HONOR that other's feelings .. and yes, STEP BACK and AWAY from them at that time.
It is not to say that you may (still) love the person ... but .. really ... sit down and examine what you really want at this stage of your life.
Is what you consider 'love' now a feeling of 'rejection' -- a feeling of 'desperation' for something ... anything .. so that you are NOT alone ... can you FACE being ALONE, SINGLE ... and yes, go forth CONFIDENTLY (as a Single) ...
Or are you so AFRAID of being SINGLE and stepping out that you have retained hold of the one feeling that you had (for this loss) ... that you can NOT get past that point and have STAGNATED in your life at this time -- to the point where 'obsessions' are driving your entire 'world view'?
PLEASE ... before you do something you may regret -- look at it from another point of view -- and see if the FEAR of being ALONE is greater than any other factor now in your life. Sometimes .. that is why OBSESSED individuals hold on to the PAST ... and why they can't seem to move forward confidently on their own.
Take stock of what you ARE NOW ... having survived something NOT the BEST for you ... NOT meant to be ... and ... GO OUT and SEE what LIFE can BRING ANEW into your LIFE ... for you may eventually be surprised and find a much better LOVE in the future!
Reply:Lasting love is mutual. You'll both know it when it happens.
Reply:No such thing as love, it's just a state of the mind.
Reply:It's called puppy love...we all went thru it before we grew up...it's nothing new just part of growing up...
Teen angst...it's funny...lol
Reply:The answer above given by Neal9gsg is so off the mark it is unbelievable that he wrote it.
I disagree with almost everything he said and it seems as if the 'coldness; and one-sidedness' is a problem that he himself has.
I got the jist of your question in that you simply asked if love is any less real if the other person doesn't love you back and the very simple answer is 'no'!
Your question was very eloquently put and objectively philosophical. Clearly you have an enquiring mind.
I hope things work out for you and good luck.
Ignore jerks like Neal. He has problems.
Reply:You may have felt love. If it's one way, that's not true love. Trying to hold on to a feeling for someone who doesn't feel the same way about you is unhealthy for you and for the other person.
You may have Erotomanic tendencies. By your behaviour, I'd be concerned about your state of mind. If you REALLY love somebody, you love them enough to accept their feelings. That means letting go.
If you could be in love with somebody who feels the same way towards you, would you choose the unreciprocated love you have now instead?
I think you have to learn that we all as individuals are not the centre of the universe. It's not all about you or me or anyone else. Your feelings are no more or less valid than somebody elses. You have to move on and accept a deeper love and accept that you may never see that person again but will always hope for them to be well and happy.
If you can't accept the other persons feelings at all, that's not love...that would be obsession.
The functional reaction is to say "Oh Well", feel sad, maybe cry a little and heal your pain. The reason your behaviour is dysfunctional is that you aren't really accepting the truth.
I've never met you but the way you have written is cold, aloof and grandiose. You obviously have an inferiority complex and have difficulty making relationships and empathising with others.
It does hurt to be in this situation, most of us have been there at one time or another.
You're trying to hard to sound poetic. Love is expenable. It lasts for as long as it lasts....could be a day, could be a lifetime.
"I like to look at things from all angles." you said. Truthfully you don't, you believe you are right and want the world to see it your way. If you really looked in to yourself you would realise this is your way of avoiding dealing with your emotions.
It doesn't make you a bad person but the things you might do as a result of your thought processes could be very negative.
You need to let go of your preconceptions about love and see it for what it is - an elusive, fickle emotion.
Then you sent me this email which has a very different tone from your public face, You wrote:
I have never read a more judgemental, biased and pompous piece of psychobabble in all my life
You projected the qualities of 'coldness' 'aloofness' etc onto me when there is absolutely no evidence for that
You tried to superimpose qualities onto what I wrote that quite simply weren't there
Re-read your post and analyse how many unfounded negative comments you made and then go and look in the mirror and ask yourslef from what part of you they surface ....
You are a little bit frightening in your swift, negative tendency to leap to conclusions.
I like to look at things from all angles because I do!
Idiot
I've locked people up for stalking others who say almost exactly the things you have said and justify 300 phonecalls a day to somebody who wants nothing more to do with them.
If you want me to put this bluntly, at 38 you should be able to deal with getting dumped. I don't agree that you feelings weren't sincere, I think they are but this was a year ago and you aren't letting go of that emotional state...and you need to for your own good. Love sometimes is a one way street. You have to accept that. Continuing a love with somebody who doesn't love you will only bring you pain and misery. You'll always feel rejected. The reason everyone tells you to move on is because they don't want you to suffer.
Your not that same person as the one beneath me are you, the one with a similar name to your own? using different personas?
local dentist
It wasn't reciprocated and we went our separate ways.
The overwhelming feedback I have had from friends, family, online correspondents and even a therapist I hired (and still see because of this issue) is that if the Love wasn't reciprocated that it isn't really 'Love'
This seems absurd to me.
That one can only be deemed healthy if the Love is reciprocated and if it isn't one should:
"Let it go"
"Move on"
"Find someone else"
"Get a hobby"
"They aren't worth it"
"Get over it"
It's odd that one is seen as 'dysfunctional' if one continues to love someone who doesn't love them back
This makes 'Love' seem very expendable - like it's a shirt you buy and it doesn't fit so you can discard it.
Anyway I am going to have this out with my therapist this week because I like to look at things from all angles.
If you continue to love someone who has gone one is accused of being obsessed ... the Love should
Does 'Love' have to be reciprocated in order for it to be real?
Sadly ... it does seem at this time that you are Obsessed.
Yes, you DO (and DID) have valid feelings ... but when the other moved on ... when they stepped away and did not want a relationship --
One needs to HONOR that other's feelings .. and yes, STEP BACK and AWAY from them at that time.
It is not to say that you may (still) love the person ... but .. really ... sit down and examine what you really want at this stage of your life.
Is what you consider 'love' now a feeling of 'rejection' -- a feeling of 'desperation' for something ... anything .. so that you are NOT alone ... can you FACE being ALONE, SINGLE ... and yes, go forth CONFIDENTLY (as a Single) ...
Or are you so AFRAID of being SINGLE and stepping out that you have retained hold of the one feeling that you had (for this loss) ... that you can NOT get past that point and have STAGNATED in your life at this time -- to the point where 'obsessions' are driving your entire 'world view'?
PLEASE ... before you do something you may regret -- look at it from another point of view -- and see if the FEAR of being ALONE is greater than any other factor now in your life. Sometimes .. that is why OBSESSED individuals hold on to the PAST ... and why they can't seem to move forward confidently on their own.
Take stock of what you ARE NOW ... having survived something NOT the BEST for you ... NOT meant to be ... and ... GO OUT and SEE what LIFE can BRING ANEW into your LIFE ... for you may eventually be surprised and find a much better LOVE in the future!
Reply:Lasting love is mutual. You'll both know it when it happens.
Reply:No such thing as love, it's just a state of the mind.
Reply:It's called puppy love...we all went thru it before we grew up...it's nothing new just part of growing up...
Teen angst...it's funny...lol
Reply:The answer above given by Neal9gsg is so off the mark it is unbelievable that he wrote it.
I disagree with almost everything he said and it seems as if the 'coldness; and one-sidedness' is a problem that he himself has.
I got the jist of your question in that you simply asked if love is any less real if the other person doesn't love you back and the very simple answer is 'no'!
Your question was very eloquently put and objectively philosophical. Clearly you have an enquiring mind.
I hope things work out for you and good luck.
Ignore jerks like Neal. He has problems.
Reply:You may have felt love. If it's one way, that's not true love. Trying to hold on to a feeling for someone who doesn't feel the same way about you is unhealthy for you and for the other person.
You may have Erotomanic tendencies. By your behaviour, I'd be concerned about your state of mind. If you REALLY love somebody, you love them enough to accept their feelings. That means letting go.
If you could be in love with somebody who feels the same way towards you, would you choose the unreciprocated love you have now instead?
I think you have to learn that we all as individuals are not the centre of the universe. It's not all about you or me or anyone else. Your feelings are no more or less valid than somebody elses. You have to move on and accept a deeper love and accept that you may never see that person again but will always hope for them to be well and happy.
If you can't accept the other persons feelings at all, that's not love...that would be obsession.
The functional reaction is to say "Oh Well", feel sad, maybe cry a little and heal your pain. The reason your behaviour is dysfunctional is that you aren't really accepting the truth.
I've never met you but the way you have written is cold, aloof and grandiose. You obviously have an inferiority complex and have difficulty making relationships and empathising with others.
It does hurt to be in this situation, most of us have been there at one time or another.
You're trying to hard to sound poetic. Love is expenable. It lasts for as long as it lasts....could be a day, could be a lifetime.
"I like to look at things from all angles." you said. Truthfully you don't, you believe you are right and want the world to see it your way. If you really looked in to yourself you would realise this is your way of avoiding dealing with your emotions.
It doesn't make you a bad person but the things you might do as a result of your thought processes could be very negative.
You need to let go of your preconceptions about love and see it for what it is - an elusive, fickle emotion.
Then you sent me this email which has a very different tone from your public face, You wrote:
I have never read a more judgemental, biased and pompous piece of psychobabble in all my life
You projected the qualities of 'coldness' 'aloofness' etc onto me when there is absolutely no evidence for that
You tried to superimpose qualities onto what I wrote that quite simply weren't there
Re-read your post and analyse how many unfounded negative comments you made and then go and look in the mirror and ask yourslef from what part of you they surface ....
You are a little bit frightening in your swift, negative tendency to leap to conclusions.
I like to look at things from all angles because I do!
Idiot
I've locked people up for stalking others who say almost exactly the things you have said and justify 300 phonecalls a day to somebody who wants nothing more to do with them.
If you want me to put this bluntly, at 38 you should be able to deal with getting dumped. I don't agree that you feelings weren't sincere, I think they are but this was a year ago and you aren't letting go of that emotional state...and you need to for your own good. Love sometimes is a one way street. You have to accept that. Continuing a love with somebody who doesn't love you will only bring you pain and misery. You'll always feel rejected. The reason everyone tells you to move on is because they don't want you to suffer.
Your not that same person as the one beneath me are you, the one with a similar name to your own? using different personas?
local dentist
Help! Love poem interp.?
The pathway of love
I love you to the time yonder has broken in the sweet winds
I love you till my lips turn to frost when snowflakes fall onto my cheeks
I love you forever more and ever till hell has reached it’s end
Upon sandy shores I weep for you, like there is no tomorrow
Upon stormy nights I drench in hope of your love
You know me as the subtitles to a movie, for I am your guide
You knew me as the girl from her early years
Cry, why must you not love me like I love you?
Why, must my letters never be returned?
Is my soul really at its haste of burden that you will touch me no more?
Where are the good days when we used to contact as close friends?
Where is the love I felt so light in air but still existed,
Is this the world we must live in full of agony?
Where is the bond of talkativeness forever to not perish?
But disappears in an instant of thought, in reminiscence
I hope with my love for you of a better tomorrow,
I live, day to day in
Help! Love poem interp.?
Love is always a good topic and we all express it in our own way. I will attempt to help you with this poetic expression of the subject. First, you to must use proper conventions.... punctuation, spelling and grammar. Then try to express yourself in as concise a way as possible. Use a flowing pattern of words, each subject in a stanza. Stanzas usually are the same length or have some pattern in length. Two websites which are great for poets are http://thesaurus.com/ and http://www.rhymer.com/
I liked it. I am amazed at your emotion and insight. I have rewritten it to sound better. I hope I correctly interpreted it. A couple of lines were difficult to glean your meaning. You may still want to work on those areas. Good luck!
The Pathway of Love
I'll love you until time yonder has broken in the sweet winds.
I'll love you until my lips turn to frost and melt
like the snowflakes that fall on my cheeks.
I'll love you forever more and ever until hell has
reached it’s end and heaven is filled.
Upon sandy shores I weep for you, like there is no tomorrow.
Upon stormy nights I stand drenched in hope of your love.
You know me as the subtitles to a movie, for I am your guide.
You knew me as the girl from her early years.
I cry for your love that is not like my own.
I ache for my letters to be acknowledged.
Does my soul ????? ?????? (This is not clear. Choose words that clearly convey your meaning or at least can be conjectured.) that you will touch me no more?
Where are the good days when we touched each other
as close friends do?
Where is the love I felt light as air, but still there,
Must I live always in this world of agony
where there is no you?
Will our bond of prolixity forever perish,
disappearing in an instant of thought
to become only a reminiscence?
I hope with my love of you for a better tomorrow,
Day to day hope that you still remember my name.
Hope that we could be two hands conjoined
walking down a cold winter road.
A man, a woman of old age and happiness,
A tear rolls out of the sky for this kind of love
Years and years of aging, words and moments of fancy.
Care the love they share through the years
Time the distance they will have traveled
Hardships they have fought to be together
and the consequences of their love they share.
Yet, are we not to be like that?
Is our love one that is to remain so short,
like an epiphany to me, but to you thin air?
Cry, I hear the nightingale calling.
Memorize every word you have ever spoken.
Treasure the thought I have with me now.
For my questions will be answered someday
when you tell me you love me like there is no tomorrow;
When you love me with every fiber of your heart.
This is the type of universe I stand in...
Deep, content in the love you give me, bound on a trip to heaven
Reply:This now makes the 3,495, 234 love poem I have read and about 10 of them are good. You display great emotion but like so many, reecho the same words. Challenge yourself to be more original, to develop thoughts more, to use poetic devices to make a callused reader like myself take pause.
I love you to the time yonder has broken in the sweet winds
I love you till my lips turn to frost when snowflakes fall onto my cheeks
I love you forever more and ever till hell has reached it’s end
Upon sandy shores I weep for you, like there is no tomorrow
Upon stormy nights I drench in hope of your love
You know me as the subtitles to a movie, for I am your guide
You knew me as the girl from her early years
Cry, why must you not love me like I love you?
Why, must my letters never be returned?
Is my soul really at its haste of burden that you will touch me no more?
Where are the good days when we used to contact as close friends?
Where is the love I felt so light in air but still existed,
Is this the world we must live in full of agony?
Where is the bond of talkativeness forever to not perish?
But disappears in an instant of thought, in reminiscence
I hope with my love for you of a better tomorrow,
I live, day to day in
Help! Love poem interp.?
Love is always a good topic and we all express it in our own way. I will attempt to help you with this poetic expression of the subject. First, you to must use proper conventions.... punctuation, spelling and grammar. Then try to express yourself in as concise a way as possible. Use a flowing pattern of words, each subject in a stanza. Stanzas usually are the same length or have some pattern in length. Two websites which are great for poets are http://thesaurus.com/ and http://www.rhymer.com/
I liked it. I am amazed at your emotion and insight. I have rewritten it to sound better. I hope I correctly interpreted it. A couple of lines were difficult to glean your meaning. You may still want to work on those areas. Good luck!
The Pathway of Love
I'll love you until time yonder has broken in the sweet winds.
I'll love you until my lips turn to frost and melt
like the snowflakes that fall on my cheeks.
I'll love you forever more and ever until hell has
reached it’s end and heaven is filled.
Upon sandy shores I weep for you, like there is no tomorrow.
Upon stormy nights I stand drenched in hope of your love.
You know me as the subtitles to a movie, for I am your guide.
You knew me as the girl from her early years.
I cry for your love that is not like my own.
I ache for my letters to be acknowledged.
Does my soul ????? ?????? (This is not clear. Choose words that clearly convey your meaning or at least can be conjectured.) that you will touch me no more?
Where are the good days when we touched each other
as close friends do?
Where is the love I felt light as air, but still there,
Must I live always in this world of agony
where there is no you?
Will our bond of prolixity forever perish,
disappearing in an instant of thought
to become only a reminiscence?
I hope with my love of you for a better tomorrow,
Day to day hope that you still remember my name.
Hope that we could be two hands conjoined
walking down a cold winter road.
A man, a woman of old age and happiness,
A tear rolls out of the sky for this kind of love
Years and years of aging, words and moments of fancy.
Care the love they share through the years
Time the distance they will have traveled
Hardships they have fought to be together
and the consequences of their love they share.
Yet, are we not to be like that?
Is our love one that is to remain so short,
like an epiphany to me, but to you thin air?
Cry, I hear the nightingale calling.
Memorize every word you have ever spoken.
Treasure the thought I have with me now.
For my questions will be answered someday
when you tell me you love me like there is no tomorrow;
When you love me with every fiber of your heart.
This is the type of universe I stand in...
Deep, content in the love you give me, bound on a trip to heaven
Reply:This now makes the 3,495, 234 love poem I have read and about 10 of them are good. You display great emotion but like so many, reecho the same words. Challenge yourself to be more original, to develop thoughts more, to use poetic devices to make a callused reader like myself take pause.
Unrequited Love? Everyone give your opinions? Do it. Do it..?
Shawn here, Blink-182 fan since the 20th Century, 16 year old Junior in High School Anyway, i was in English 11B, a few days ago,, and there was a discussion on unrequited love and love in particular. Although, i was off in my own world daydreaming, about things, i still managed to hear some of the discussion. It was about how one could love someone they knew they couldn't have, and a discussion on what love is? I simply tuned out because i know i'll never find love( girls don't notice me, and generally high school girls don't like the nice guy.) What happened to the sophisticated down to earth girl? Anywho, are you or have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you know anyone who ever has? If so, how did you deal with it? Do you even believe in love itself? Why or why not? I do not because, once could love, then have their heartbroken the next day. For example, a girl i really liked in 8th grade rejected me and it took me a long time to get over it. Love doesn't exist.
Answers?
Unrequited Love? Everyone give your opinions? Do it. Do it..?
love is more like a sensual pleasure to men , but it could be everything to women unless she's a mother , I think this exclusive sweet surrender love doesn't exist any more , and if it does in someones heart it means a heartbroken is on the doors .
Reply:For some odd irony, I frequently notice any and all girls that attract me (which are many). Unrequitted love is the story of my life. I'm 26, have liked or noticed many, many girls, and obviously not one of them liked me back. How do you cope? Well, life goes on in some unrelenting, compulsory way, whether you're in the mood for it to or not. "Coping" is automatic. The day soldiers on, no matter how unhappy you are.
Answers?
Unrequited Love? Everyone give your opinions? Do it. Do it..?
love is more like a sensual pleasure to men , but it could be everything to women unless she's a mother , I think this exclusive sweet surrender love doesn't exist any more , and if it does in someones heart it means a heartbroken is on the doors .
Reply:For some odd irony, I frequently notice any and all girls that attract me (which are many). Unrequitted love is the story of my life. I'm 26, have liked or noticed many, many girls, and obviously not one of them liked me back. How do you cope? Well, life goes on in some unrelenting, compulsory way, whether you're in the mood for it to or not. "Coping" is automatic. The day soldiers on, no matter how unhappy you are.
Unrequited Love? Everyone give your opinions? Do it. Do it..?
Shawn here, Blink-182 fan since the 20th Century, 16 year old Junior in High School Anyway, i was in English 11B, a few days ago,, and there was a discussion on unrequited love and love in particular. Although, i was off in my own world daydreaming, about things, i still managed to hear some of the discussion. It was about how one could love someone they knew they couldn't have, and a discussion on what love is? I simply tuned out because i know i'll never find love( girls don't notice me, and generally high school girls don't like the nice guy.) What happened to the sophisticated down to earth girl? Anywho, are you or have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you know anyone who ever has? If so, how did you deal with it? Do you even believe in love itself? Why or why not? I do not because, once could love, then have their heartbroken the next day. For example, a girl i really liked in 8th grade rejected me and it took me a long time to get over it. Love doesn't exist.
Answers?
Unrequited Love? Everyone give your opinions? Do it. Do it..?
Oh, unrequited love, the story of my life...
It can be so excruciating. I have had at least 4 or 5 in my day, men that I couldn't have, men that I couldn't even speak to, men that I knew wanted to be with me, but for whatever reason, just couldn't be with me, or even those men who didn't even want me back.
Unrequited love (or lust) is painful, and is often most felt during the teens and twenties, when you find that every other potential love interest turns out to be an unrequieted love. That's why they're called "crushes," they're not easy...
"One-sided love" is not easy.
So, as someone speaking from experience, I can tell you that a.) It's hard to get over someone, but eventually, you will
b.) It's not the end of the world if you feel as if you'll never get over it (you will!) and c.) The expression 'There are other fish in the sea' is a popular expression because it's true.
You're very young. Love does exist.
May you grow wise with experience.
And P.S.: We do like the nice guys!
Reply:I disagree. Love does exist. You just have to experience it the right way, that's all. Also; wouldn't it be better to be in love with someone you know who is in love with you as well? If that particular girl rejects you, she obviosuly didn't feel the same way as you, which means; it was something that wasn't meant to be.
You have to stop thinkin there is no such thing, as that will only make things more difficult.
Answers?
Unrequited Love? Everyone give your opinions? Do it. Do it..?
Oh, unrequited love, the story of my life...
It can be so excruciating. I have had at least 4 or 5 in my day, men that I couldn't have, men that I couldn't even speak to, men that I knew wanted to be with me, but for whatever reason, just couldn't be with me, or even those men who didn't even want me back.
Unrequited love (or lust) is painful, and is often most felt during the teens and twenties, when you find that every other potential love interest turns out to be an unrequieted love. That's why they're called "crushes," they're not easy...
"One-sided love" is not easy.
So, as someone speaking from experience, I can tell you that a.) It's hard to get over someone, but eventually, you will
b.) It's not the end of the world if you feel as if you'll never get over it (you will!) and c.) The expression 'There are other fish in the sea' is a popular expression because it's true.
You're very young. Love does exist.
May you grow wise with experience.
And P.S.: We do like the nice guys!
Reply:I disagree. Love does exist. You just have to experience it the right way, that's all. Also; wouldn't it be better to be in love with someone you know who is in love with you as well? If that particular girl rejects you, she obviosuly didn't feel the same way as you, which means; it was something that wasn't meant to be.
You have to stop thinkin there is no such thing, as that will only make things more difficult.
Love relationship in a dilemma.?! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE. genuinely help needed.?
P.S.- SORRY FOR THE QUESTION BEING TOO TOO LONG, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD, I NEED YOUR HELP. I NEED A SERIOUS AND A MATURE HELP. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR VIEW POINTS FOR THE SITUATION. PLEASE PLEASE !! THANKS
I am 21, and was dating a 24 year old guy (we both are from India, and from same religious background – Sikh). We both shared a lovely relationship, loved each other totally. We were also involved in a physical relationship on mutual understanding. We dated for about 4 months, and then he wanted to call it off. He thought we were getting onto a serious platform day by day, and he sees no chance of us getting married in the future. (His family is totally anti-love-marriages, for many reasons. And one of them being that one of his first cousins was recently murdered by his wife after 6 months of their Love marriage). He said that he respects me and my feelings, and hence doesn’t want to hurt me in the future, by giving me fake commitment. So, he decided to call it off. We ended almost 4-5 times in last 4 months, and got back every time. Every time we got back, he was always in secured, as he knew we have no future. I always tried explaining him that we can always try and see if things work out well, but he always had a set mind that his parents are never going to accept this (he’s been seeing situations like this in his family with his cousin sibling), and he would never go against his family.
Any which ways, we would end, and we would get back again. For me it was very difficult to come over him, there have been times, when I abused him and have tortured/bothered him with the ugliest of messages, blaming him, but he never returned that stone back to me. He either did not reply to it at all, and if we would talk about it, he would very sweetly say, that please done send me such messages, they make me feel real bad.
Now, we are back again, but as friends only this time. We are not in a relationship, but he said we can remain friends. We are talking properly since 10 days now, though not regularly. We have met, but very generally. Even he is sure, we will not get physical anymore, he has not mentioned, but his gestures prove that.
Now, I don’t know, its really tough for me to accept him only as a friend. I for sure, don’t want to loose him completely, but just being friends make me go mad too most of the time. I miss all those moments I have spent with him. I know he loves me, and that is the reason, that even he is not able to end this completely. Or is he doing this only because I want to get back to him? Did he ever love me? Or he never did? Or does he still have same feelings for me, but for some reasons, he is trying to burry them? What is all this about? Why is he doing this? No, I don’t want to end this all, but, I find nothing good happening? Just being friends, why do u think, if he know he doesn’t have a future with me, and he knows he wants to call it off, even then why does he want to be just friends with me? What all could be the possibilities? I love him, I love him so much. Cant even dare to leave him, but, these questions make me wonder, what exactly would he be thinking? What all would be in his mind? Any games happening? Or does he have some genuine feelings for me? He even tries to make me jealous at times, and says it on purpose, after the discussion, that he wanted to make me feel jealous about it, and then asks me, if I really did get jealous. If we are only friends, then why would he want to make me feel jealous? He still on and off asks me, if I loved him. He still kind of thinks he has a right on me, he tells me if something about me he doesn’t like, for e.g. the other day he told me that iv started wearing deep cleavage tops, and he doesn’t like it. Also, he commented on my hairstyle, and made me change it. Why does he do all this, if we are just friends? Why does he show his right on me? And in the end says, keep meeting me, at least like friends? What is all this about?
I would like to mention, that he is a cusp of Scorpio and Sagittarius. And I am Aries.
Please friends, I know it’s a little too long, but please give me genuine and serious advices. Thanks to all of you in advance.
P.S.- if any one of you have any questions or doubts in the question, please post it in the replies, and I will answer them in additional details, and then you may please revert back after reading the answer. Please, it’s a humble request, to please answer it.
Love relationship in a dilemma.?! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE. genuinely help needed.?
okay i think he still loves you but then the time that you spent with him is not that much to say
I think you should tell him that if he just wants to be friends then he shouldnt tell you what to wear or how to do your hair
and if he asks you if you get jeolus when he talks to other girls tell him that you dont because he is just a friend
and if he really loved you then he would marry you
he would go against his parents
he will know what he missed out on
i hope this helps
GOOD LUCK
Reply:theres nothing u can do. get over him. parents from india just wont ever accept love marriages. so sorry dear.
or u can try talking to his parents... like have a lil dinner or something.... have them meet u.
Reply:I am sorry to hear of your distress. Let me first say I totally understand how you feel. You are confused and angry at the whole situation.
The relationship you have with this guy is really not going anywhere. You cannot change the fact that he is not willing to stand up for the relationship, he as shown you that his family comes first. I can also say he loves you but he is caught between loving you and honouring his families wishes.
It is not fair to the both of you but its just a part of life. You are both friends now but in his heart he sees you more than just a friend he wants you but he can't have you the way he wants you.
It not easy for me to say move on because it not that simple. Don't waste your life and your young years trying to figure out if he truly loves you , (he does), but he is not willing to choose you over his family.
Try not to get involved in a intimate relationship with him again cause you are setting up your self for a big heart break.
Try dating someone new . that is willing to choose you over all others that is what you truly deserve.
Hope my answer will help.
Stay safe and keep in touch....
gumps
I am 21, and was dating a 24 year old guy (we both are from India, and from same religious background – Sikh). We both shared a lovely relationship, loved each other totally. We were also involved in a physical relationship on mutual understanding. We dated for about 4 months, and then he wanted to call it off. He thought we were getting onto a serious platform day by day, and he sees no chance of us getting married in the future. (His family is totally anti-love-marriages, for many reasons. And one of them being that one of his first cousins was recently murdered by his wife after 6 months of their Love marriage). He said that he respects me and my feelings, and hence doesn’t want to hurt me in the future, by giving me fake commitment. So, he decided to call it off. We ended almost 4-5 times in last 4 months, and got back every time. Every time we got back, he was always in secured, as he knew we have no future. I always tried explaining him that we can always try and see if things work out well, but he always had a set mind that his parents are never going to accept this (he’s been seeing situations like this in his family with his cousin sibling), and he would never go against his family.
Any which ways, we would end, and we would get back again. For me it was very difficult to come over him, there have been times, when I abused him and have tortured/bothered him with the ugliest of messages, blaming him, but he never returned that stone back to me. He either did not reply to it at all, and if we would talk about it, he would very sweetly say, that please done send me such messages, they make me feel real bad.
Now, we are back again, but as friends only this time. We are not in a relationship, but he said we can remain friends. We are talking properly since 10 days now, though not regularly. We have met, but very generally. Even he is sure, we will not get physical anymore, he has not mentioned, but his gestures prove that.
Now, I don’t know, its really tough for me to accept him only as a friend. I for sure, don’t want to loose him completely, but just being friends make me go mad too most of the time. I miss all those moments I have spent with him. I know he loves me, and that is the reason, that even he is not able to end this completely. Or is he doing this only because I want to get back to him? Did he ever love me? Or he never did? Or does he still have same feelings for me, but for some reasons, he is trying to burry them? What is all this about? Why is he doing this? No, I don’t want to end this all, but, I find nothing good happening? Just being friends, why do u think, if he know he doesn’t have a future with me, and he knows he wants to call it off, even then why does he want to be just friends with me? What all could be the possibilities? I love him, I love him so much. Cant even dare to leave him, but, these questions make me wonder, what exactly would he be thinking? What all would be in his mind? Any games happening? Or does he have some genuine feelings for me? He even tries to make me jealous at times, and says it on purpose, after the discussion, that he wanted to make me feel jealous about it, and then asks me, if I really did get jealous. If we are only friends, then why would he want to make me feel jealous? He still on and off asks me, if I loved him. He still kind of thinks he has a right on me, he tells me if something about me he doesn’t like, for e.g. the other day he told me that iv started wearing deep cleavage tops, and he doesn’t like it. Also, he commented on my hairstyle, and made me change it. Why does he do all this, if we are just friends? Why does he show his right on me? And in the end says, keep meeting me, at least like friends? What is all this about?
I would like to mention, that he is a cusp of Scorpio and Sagittarius. And I am Aries.
Please friends, I know it’s a little too long, but please give me genuine and serious advices. Thanks to all of you in advance.
P.S.- if any one of you have any questions or doubts in the question, please post it in the replies, and I will answer them in additional details, and then you may please revert back after reading the answer. Please, it’s a humble request, to please answer it.
Love relationship in a dilemma.?! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE. genuinely help needed.?
okay i think he still loves you but then the time that you spent with him is not that much to say
I think you should tell him that if he just wants to be friends then he shouldnt tell you what to wear or how to do your hair
and if he asks you if you get jeolus when he talks to other girls tell him that you dont because he is just a friend
and if he really loved you then he would marry you
he would go against his parents
he will know what he missed out on
i hope this helps
GOOD LUCK
Reply:theres nothing u can do. get over him. parents from india just wont ever accept love marriages. so sorry dear.
or u can try talking to his parents... like have a lil dinner or something.... have them meet u.
Reply:I am sorry to hear of your distress. Let me first say I totally understand how you feel. You are confused and angry at the whole situation.
The relationship you have with this guy is really not going anywhere. You cannot change the fact that he is not willing to stand up for the relationship, he as shown you that his family comes first. I can also say he loves you but he is caught between loving you and honouring his families wishes.
It is not fair to the both of you but its just a part of life. You are both friends now but in his heart he sees you more than just a friend he wants you but he can't have you the way he wants you.
It not easy for me to say move on because it not that simple. Don't waste your life and your young years trying to figure out if he truly loves you , (he does), but he is not willing to choose you over his family.
Try not to get involved in a intimate relationship with him again cause you are setting up your self for a big heart break.
Try dating someone new . that is willing to choose you over all others that is what you truly deserve.
Hope my answer will help.
Stay safe and keep in touch....
gumps
Love relationship in a dilemma.?! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE. genuinely help needed.?
P.S.- SORRY FOR THE QUESTION BEING TOO TOO LONG, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD, I NEED YOUR HELP. I NEED A SERIOUS AND A MATURE HELP. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR VIEW POINTS FOR THE SITUATION. PLEASE PLEASE !! THANKS
I am 21, and was dating a 24 year old guy (we both are from India, and from same religious background – Sikh). We both shared a lovely relationship, loved each other totally. We were also involved in a physical relationship on mutual understanding. We dated for about 4 months, and then he wanted to call it off. He thought we were getting onto a serious platform day by day, and he sees no chance of us getting married in the future. (His family is totally anti-love-marriages, for many reasons. And one of them being that one of his first cousins was recently murdered by his wife after 6 months of their Love marriage). He said that he respects me and my feelings, and hence doesn’t want to hurt me in the future, by giving me fake commitment. So, he decided to call it off. We ended almost 4-5 times in last 4 months, and got back every time. Every time we got back, he was always in secured, as he knew we have no future. I always tried explaining him that we can always try and see if things work out well, but he always had a set mind that his parents are never going to accept this (he’s been seeing situations like this in his family with his cousin sibling), and he would never go against his family.
Any which ways, we would end, and we would get back again. For me it was very difficult to come over him, there have been times, when I abused him and have tortured/bothered him with the ugliest of messages, blaming him, but he never returned that stone back to me. He either did not reply to it at all, and if we would talk about it, he would very sweetly say, that please done send me such messages, they make me feel real bad.
Now, we are back again, but as friends only this time. We are not in a relationship, but he said we can remain friends. We are talking properly since 10 days now, though not regularly. We have met, but very generally. Even he is sure, we will not get physical anymore, he has not mentioned, but his gestures prove that.
Now, I don’t know, its really tough for me to accept him only as a friend. I for sure, don’t want to loose him completely, but just being friends make me go mad too most of the time. I miss all those moments I have spent with him. I know he loves me, and that is the reason, that even he is not able to end this completely. Or is he doing this only because I want to get back to him? Did he ever love me? Or he never did? Or does he still have same feelings for me, but for some reasons, he is trying to burry them? What is all this about? Why is he doing this? No, I don’t want to end this all, but, I find nothing good happening? Just being friends, why do u think, if he know he doesn’t have a future with me, and he knows he wants to call it off, even then why does he want to be just friends with me? What all could be the possibilities? I love him, I love him so much. Cant even dare to leave him, but, these questions make me wonder, what exactly would he be thinking? What all would be in his mind? Any games happening? Or does he have some genuine feelings for me? He even tries to make me jealous at times, and says it on purpose, after the discussion, that he wanted to make me feel jealous about it, and then asks me, if I really did get jealous. If we are only friends, then why would he want to make me feel jealous? He still on and off asks me, if I loved him. He still kind of thinks he has a right on me, he tells me if something about me he doesn’t like, for e.g. the other day he told me that iv started wearing deep cleavage tops, and he doesn’t like it. Also, he commented on my hairstyle, and made me change it. Why does he do all this, if we are just friends? Why does he show his right on me? And in the end says, keep meeting me, at least like friends? What is all this about?
I would like to mention, that he is a cusp of Scorpio and Sagittarius. And I am Aries.
Please friends, I know it’s a little too long, but please give me genuine and serious advices. Thanks to all of you in advance.
P.S.- if any one of you have any questions or doubts in the question, please post it in the replies, and I will answer them in additional details, and then you may please revert back after reading the answer. Please, it’s a humble request, to please answer it.
Love relationship in a dilemma.?! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE. genuinely help needed.?
Either he is very immature for his age that he has to be doing whatever his family says, or he just doesn't want to commit to you, but wants to control you anyway.
If he is the kind of guy that is controlled by his parents, just watch the movie "Not without my daughter" with Sally Field, and you will see what kind of future might await for you.
If he doesnt want to commit, well, just go away a little bit and see his reactions. Sometimes when guys are to sure of a person, they start treating the person however they want, and that, will be very hurtful for you. If he loves you, he MUST try to win your love, dont be after him, because he will start to avoid you OR he will start to abuse you, either one you consent.
He is not the only one in the world.. make sure he knows that BY YOUR ACTIONS, not by telling him: Go out with other girlfriends, if he wants to talk to you, tell him you have something else, but that you will call him back (and do it, just don't give him the privilege of knowing that you are AVAILABLE ALL THE TIME FOR HIM)..got the point?
I hope this helps, but if he doesnt come back to you, then, he was NEVER going to come back to you.. and you would be suffering forever!! You are 21, and I'm sure that if it's not him, you will find someone that really loves you and appreciates you for who you are.
Reply:you lost me at 'india'.
sorry.
Reply:Just let go of him.... you need somebody who can actually share your same wish of getting married...
Reply:From what i am understanding you want more then just a friendship with this guy. going from ex lovers to just friends is the hardest thing. you need to make a decision. he wont change his beliefs and he shoudn't. You have get over him and you. being friends is not a good idea in the beginning because you will never heal completely from everything. you need to seperate yourself from him for a while.
Reply:Oh sweetie.
It sounds like he wants the best of both worlds, %26amp; you can't let him have that. He's just toying with your emotions. It sounds like you just need to walk away from him %26amp; find someone who wants the same things you do, %26amp; will treat you as such. I had a boyfriend that did that with me for a while, %26amp; I found out he was doing the same thing with another girl. I'm not saying he is, however, I know how it felt to play the on-again-off-again game. My feelings got hurt so much by it, %26amp; now that I'm past all of that, %26amp; engaged to a wonderful man who really wants to marry me, I'm a lot happier.
Good luck hun.
Reply:I FEEL THAT YOU NEED TO LET HIM GO ON. AND YOU NEED TO TAKE SOME TIME OUT AND FIND YOURSELF BECAUSE IF YOU ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT THIS TYPE OF ON ONE DAY OFF ONE DAY RELATIONSHIP THEN SOMEONE INSIDE OF YOU IS SOME SELF ESTEEM ISSUES THAT MAKE YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN NOT DO ANY BETTER. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR AND AS LONG AS YOU ALLOW THIS BEHAVIOR FROM HIM HE WILL CONTINUE TO STRING YOU ALONG. YOU NEED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE THAT HAS THE SAME OUTLOOK ON LOVE AND MARRIAGE AS DOES YOURSELF. AND FURTHER MORE IF HIS FAMILY HAS THAT MUCH SAY AND PULL OVER HIS LOVE LIFE THEN YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT WANT TO BE IN THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP, THERE WILL BE PROBLEMS ALWAYS BECAUSE HIS FAMILY PRETTY MUCH RULE HIS LIFE. I THINK HE IS PLAYING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS BECAUSE IF HE FELT THAT WAY ABOUT LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS WHY DID HE GET INTO ONE FROM THE BEGINNING? YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT AND YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. LOOK AT IT THIS WAY YOU CAN DO BAD BY YOURSELF. MEANING YOU ARE WITH HIM NOW AND ARE STILL HURTING AND SAD BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN COME FROM IT, YOU CAN BE BY YOURSELF HURT A LITTLE CRY A LITTLE AND GET OVER IT BETTER THAN YOU WILL BEING AROUND HIM AND TALKING TO HIM. YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE AND NOT LET HIM CONTROL IT FOR YOU. BECAUSE RIGHT NOW HE IS IN CONTROL BECAUSE HE IS STRINGING YOU ALONG AND YOU ARE HURTINH THINKING ABOUT HIM AND HE IS ACTUALLY GONE ON ABOUT HIS BUSINESS AND STRINGING YOU ALONG AT THE SAME TIME. MOVE ON. IF YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO GET WITH SOMEONE THAT IS GOING.
Reply:Wow...here goes....Firstly, it's difficult to comment on his behaviour because only he has the correct answers to your questions, however, he displays some behaviour which anyone would find confusing so don't beat yourself up for asking the question. I'm sorry to have to say it but the mere fact that you are confused suggests to me that something is not quite right with the relationship. Unfortunately I've also been there before and have come out the other side so I think I have some insight into the situation and what you are feeling. I'm going to attempt to respond to each point you have made so bear with me. The first point is that of his family. You say he won't go against his family's wishes. He seems to object to the relationship more than they do! If he cared so much for you, he would be able to articulate this to his family. Family loyalty is very important to me too. I'm not saying he should disown his family for you, but the least he could do was to approach them about the situation, as a grown man. Instead he has avoided any debate or confrontation with them in order to save THEIR feelings...what about yours?
Now as for the breaking up and getting back together. We've all done it but it's not healthy. Here, you have to responsible for your own emotions, bite the bullet and refuse contact for a while. I know, it sounds drastic, but it's the only way to mend your wounded heart. I suspect he knows that you love him and will come back to him at the drop of a hat and in that sense HE is being selfish but ultimately YOU are in charge of your actions and emotions and CANNOT keep waiting in the wings for your scene. You could continue doing the same thing for the next 10 years!
Yes, I'm sure he is understanding when you send abusive messages because he is aware of the heartache he is causing you. He'd be an absolute %%26amp;$£*?! if he repremanded you for it. He knows that HE is the one causing you to behave this way
Now, regarding this "friendship" business. Don't kid yourself that you can be friends for now. There's way too much emotion/confusion involved. Your question itself proves that you cannot be friends. Ask yourself, would you be happy if you saw him with another woman? If the answer's no, then you are not a friend, you're an understudy, waiting for your "big break"! The only problem is the leading man already has a leading lady, (sorry for the dramatic references), but you get my point? And I don't know about your "friends" but my friends don't comment on my cleavage or make me change my hair! He's exerting his authority on you here and he can't have it both ways. He's keeping you on side, (friends) so he can see how the land lies when he plans his return. If he cared so much for you, he would let you go, as I'm sure he knows this situation is hurting you. And as for making you jealous...that's just childish behaviour...you did say he was 24 didn't you? Why would he want to hurt you, if he loved you so much.
You sound like a really sweet person and I KNOW there is someone out there who would treat you better than this "man".
I hope I addressed all your points. If not, I'm happy to comment again...just ask!
I am 21, and was dating a 24 year old guy (we both are from India, and from same religious background – Sikh). We both shared a lovely relationship, loved each other totally. We were also involved in a physical relationship on mutual understanding. We dated for about 4 months, and then he wanted to call it off. He thought we were getting onto a serious platform day by day, and he sees no chance of us getting married in the future. (His family is totally anti-love-marriages, for many reasons. And one of them being that one of his first cousins was recently murdered by his wife after 6 months of their Love marriage). He said that he respects me and my feelings, and hence doesn’t want to hurt me in the future, by giving me fake commitment. So, he decided to call it off. We ended almost 4-5 times in last 4 months, and got back every time. Every time we got back, he was always in secured, as he knew we have no future. I always tried explaining him that we can always try and see if things work out well, but he always had a set mind that his parents are never going to accept this (he’s been seeing situations like this in his family with his cousin sibling), and he would never go against his family.
Any which ways, we would end, and we would get back again. For me it was very difficult to come over him, there have been times, when I abused him and have tortured/bothered him with the ugliest of messages, blaming him, but he never returned that stone back to me. He either did not reply to it at all, and if we would talk about it, he would very sweetly say, that please done send me such messages, they make me feel real bad.
Now, we are back again, but as friends only this time. We are not in a relationship, but he said we can remain friends. We are talking properly since 10 days now, though not regularly. We have met, but very generally. Even he is sure, we will not get physical anymore, he has not mentioned, but his gestures prove that.
Now, I don’t know, its really tough for me to accept him only as a friend. I for sure, don’t want to loose him completely, but just being friends make me go mad too most of the time. I miss all those moments I have spent with him. I know he loves me, and that is the reason, that even he is not able to end this completely. Or is he doing this only because I want to get back to him? Did he ever love me? Or he never did? Or does he still have same feelings for me, but for some reasons, he is trying to burry them? What is all this about? Why is he doing this? No, I don’t want to end this all, but, I find nothing good happening? Just being friends, why do u think, if he know he doesn’t have a future with me, and he knows he wants to call it off, even then why does he want to be just friends with me? What all could be the possibilities? I love him, I love him so much. Cant even dare to leave him, but, these questions make me wonder, what exactly would he be thinking? What all would be in his mind? Any games happening? Or does he have some genuine feelings for me? He even tries to make me jealous at times, and says it on purpose, after the discussion, that he wanted to make me feel jealous about it, and then asks me, if I really did get jealous. If we are only friends, then why would he want to make me feel jealous? He still on and off asks me, if I loved him. He still kind of thinks he has a right on me, he tells me if something about me he doesn’t like, for e.g. the other day he told me that iv started wearing deep cleavage tops, and he doesn’t like it. Also, he commented on my hairstyle, and made me change it. Why does he do all this, if we are just friends? Why does he show his right on me? And in the end says, keep meeting me, at least like friends? What is all this about?
I would like to mention, that he is a cusp of Scorpio and Sagittarius. And I am Aries.
Please friends, I know it’s a little too long, but please give me genuine and serious advices. Thanks to all of you in advance.
P.S.- if any one of you have any questions or doubts in the question, please post it in the replies, and I will answer them in additional details, and then you may please revert back after reading the answer. Please, it’s a humble request, to please answer it.
Love relationship in a dilemma.?! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE. genuinely help needed.?
Either he is very immature for his age that he has to be doing whatever his family says, or he just doesn't want to commit to you, but wants to control you anyway.
If he is the kind of guy that is controlled by his parents, just watch the movie "Not without my daughter" with Sally Field, and you will see what kind of future might await for you.
If he doesnt want to commit, well, just go away a little bit and see his reactions. Sometimes when guys are to sure of a person, they start treating the person however they want, and that, will be very hurtful for you. If he loves you, he MUST try to win your love, dont be after him, because he will start to avoid you OR he will start to abuse you, either one you consent.
He is not the only one in the world.. make sure he knows that BY YOUR ACTIONS, not by telling him: Go out with other girlfriends, if he wants to talk to you, tell him you have something else, but that you will call him back (and do it, just don't give him the privilege of knowing that you are AVAILABLE ALL THE TIME FOR HIM)..got the point?
I hope this helps, but if he doesnt come back to you, then, he was NEVER going to come back to you.. and you would be suffering forever!! You are 21, and I'm sure that if it's not him, you will find someone that really loves you and appreciates you for who you are.
Reply:you lost me at 'india'.
sorry.
Reply:Just let go of him.... you need somebody who can actually share your same wish of getting married...
Reply:From what i am understanding you want more then just a friendship with this guy. going from ex lovers to just friends is the hardest thing. you need to make a decision. he wont change his beliefs and he shoudn't. You have get over him and you. being friends is not a good idea in the beginning because you will never heal completely from everything. you need to seperate yourself from him for a while.
Reply:Oh sweetie.
It sounds like he wants the best of both worlds, %26amp; you can't let him have that. He's just toying with your emotions. It sounds like you just need to walk away from him %26amp; find someone who wants the same things you do, %26amp; will treat you as such. I had a boyfriend that did that with me for a while, %26amp; I found out he was doing the same thing with another girl. I'm not saying he is, however, I know how it felt to play the on-again-off-again game. My feelings got hurt so much by it, %26amp; now that I'm past all of that, %26amp; engaged to a wonderful man who really wants to marry me, I'm a lot happier.
Good luck hun.
Reply:I FEEL THAT YOU NEED TO LET HIM GO ON. AND YOU NEED TO TAKE SOME TIME OUT AND FIND YOURSELF BECAUSE IF YOU ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT THIS TYPE OF ON ONE DAY OFF ONE DAY RELATIONSHIP THEN SOMEONE INSIDE OF YOU IS SOME SELF ESTEEM ISSUES THAT MAKE YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN NOT DO ANY BETTER. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR AND AS LONG AS YOU ALLOW THIS BEHAVIOR FROM HIM HE WILL CONTINUE TO STRING YOU ALONG. YOU NEED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE THAT HAS THE SAME OUTLOOK ON LOVE AND MARRIAGE AS DOES YOURSELF. AND FURTHER MORE IF HIS FAMILY HAS THAT MUCH SAY AND PULL OVER HIS LOVE LIFE THEN YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT WANT TO BE IN THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP, THERE WILL BE PROBLEMS ALWAYS BECAUSE HIS FAMILY PRETTY MUCH RULE HIS LIFE. I THINK HE IS PLAYING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS BECAUSE IF HE FELT THAT WAY ABOUT LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS WHY DID HE GET INTO ONE FROM THE BEGINNING? YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT AND YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. LOOK AT IT THIS WAY YOU CAN DO BAD BY YOURSELF. MEANING YOU ARE WITH HIM NOW AND ARE STILL HURTING AND SAD BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN COME FROM IT, YOU CAN BE BY YOURSELF HURT A LITTLE CRY A LITTLE AND GET OVER IT BETTER THAN YOU WILL BEING AROUND HIM AND TALKING TO HIM. YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE AND NOT LET HIM CONTROL IT FOR YOU. BECAUSE RIGHT NOW HE IS IN CONTROL BECAUSE HE IS STRINGING YOU ALONG AND YOU ARE HURTINH THINKING ABOUT HIM AND HE IS ACTUALLY GONE ON ABOUT HIS BUSINESS AND STRINGING YOU ALONG AT THE SAME TIME. MOVE ON. IF YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO GET WITH SOMEONE THAT IS GOING.
Reply:Wow...here goes....Firstly, it's difficult to comment on his behaviour because only he has the correct answers to your questions, however, he displays some behaviour which anyone would find confusing so don't beat yourself up for asking the question. I'm sorry to have to say it but the mere fact that you are confused suggests to me that something is not quite right with the relationship. Unfortunately I've also been there before and have come out the other side so I think I have some insight into the situation and what you are feeling. I'm going to attempt to respond to each point you have made so bear with me. The first point is that of his family. You say he won't go against his family's wishes. He seems to object to the relationship more than they do! If he cared so much for you, he would be able to articulate this to his family. Family loyalty is very important to me too. I'm not saying he should disown his family for you, but the least he could do was to approach them about the situation, as a grown man. Instead he has avoided any debate or confrontation with them in order to save THEIR feelings...what about yours?
Now as for the breaking up and getting back together. We've all done it but it's not healthy. Here, you have to responsible for your own emotions, bite the bullet and refuse contact for a while. I know, it sounds drastic, but it's the only way to mend your wounded heart. I suspect he knows that you love him and will come back to him at the drop of a hat and in that sense HE is being selfish but ultimately YOU are in charge of your actions and emotions and CANNOT keep waiting in the wings for your scene. You could continue doing the same thing for the next 10 years!
Yes, I'm sure he is understanding when you send abusive messages because he is aware of the heartache he is causing you. He'd be an absolute %%26amp;$£*?! if he repremanded you for it. He knows that HE is the one causing you to behave this way
Now, regarding this "friendship" business. Don't kid yourself that you can be friends for now. There's way too much emotion/confusion involved. Your question itself proves that you cannot be friends. Ask yourself, would you be happy if you saw him with another woman? If the answer's no, then you are not a friend, you're an understudy, waiting for your "big break"! The only problem is the leading man already has a leading lady, (sorry for the dramatic references), but you get my point? And I don't know about your "friends" but my friends don't comment on my cleavage or make me change my hair! He's exerting his authority on you here and he can't have it both ways. He's keeping you on side, (friends) so he can see how the land lies when he plans his return. If he cared so much for you, he would let you go, as I'm sure he knows this situation is hurting you. And as for making you jealous...that's just childish behaviour...you did say he was 24 didn't you? Why would he want to hurt you, if he loved you so much.
You sound like a really sweet person and I KNOW there is someone out there who would treat you better than this "man".
I hope I addressed all your points. If not, I'm happy to comment again...just ask!
Love relationship in a dilemma.?! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE. genuinely help needed.?
I
P.S.- SORRY FOR THE QUESTION BEING TOO TOO LONG, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD, I NEED YOUR HELP. I NEED A SERIOUS AND A MATURE HELP. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR VIEW POINTS FOR THE SITUATION. PLEASE PLEASE !! THANKS
I am 21, and was dating a 24 year old guy (we both are from India, and from same religious background – Sikh). We both shared a lovely relationship, loved each other totally. We were also involved in a physical relationship on mutual understanding. We dated for about 4 months, and then he wanted to call it off. He thought we were getting onto a serious platform day by day, and he sees no chance of us getting married in the future. (His family is totally anti-love-marriages, for many reasons. And one of them being that one of his first cousins was recently murdered by his wife after 6 months of their Love marriage). He said that he respects me and my feelings, and hence doesn’t want to hurt me in the future, by giving me fake commitment. So, he decided to call it off. We ended almost 4-5 times in last 4 months, and got back every time. Every time we got back, he was always in secured, as he knew we have no future. I always tried explaining him that we can always try and see if things work out well, but he always had a set mind that his parents are never going to accept this (he’s been seeing situations like this in his family with his cousin sibling), and he would never go against his family.
Any which ways, we would end, and we would get back again. For me it was very difficult to come over him, there have been times, when I abused him and have tortured/bothered him with the ugliest of messages, blaming him, but he never returned that stone back to me. He either did not reply to it at all, and if we would talk about it, he would very sweetly say, that please done send me such messages, they make me feel real bad.
Now, we are back again, but as friends only this time. We are not in a relationship, but he said we can remain friends. We are talking properly since 10 days now, though not regularly. We have met, but very generally. Even he is sure, we will not get physical anymore, he has not mentioned, but his gestures prove that.
Now, I don’t know, its really tough for me to accept him only as a friend. I for sure, don’t want to loose him completely, but just being friends make me go mad too most of the time. I miss all those moments I have spent with him. I know he loves me, and that is the reason, that even he is not able to end this completely. Or is he doing this only because I want to get back to him? Did he ever love me? Or he never did? Or does he still have same feelings for me, but for some reasons, he is trying to burry them? What is all this about? Why is he doing this? No, I don’t want to end this all, but, I find nothing good happening? Just being friends, why do u think, if he know he doesn’t have a future with me, and he knows he wants to call it off, even then why does he want to be just friends with me? What all could be the possibilities? I love him, I love him so much. Cant even dare to leave him, but, these questions make me wonder, what exactly would he be thinking? What all would be in his mind? Any games happening? Or does he have some genuine feelings for me? He even tries to make me jealous at times, and says it on purpose, after the discussion, that he wanted to make me feel jealous about it, and then asks me, if I really did get jealous. If we are only friends, then why would he want to make me feel jealous? He still on and off asks me, if I loved him. He still kind of thinks he has a right on me, he tells me if something about me he doesn’t like, for e.g. the other day he told me that iv started wearing deep cleavage tops, and he doesn’t like it. Also, he commented on my hairstyle, and made me change it. Why does he do all this, if we are just friends? Why does he show his right on me? And in the end says, keep meeting me, at least like friends? What is all this about?
I would like to mention, that he is a cusp of Scorpio and Sagittarius. And I am Aries.
Please friends, I know it’s a little too long, but please give me genuine and serious advices. Thanks to all of you in advance.
P.S.- if any one of you have any questions or doubts in the question, please post it in the replies, and I will answer them in additional details, and then you may please revert back after reading the answer. Please, it’s a humble request, to please answer it.
Love relationship in a dilemma.?! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE. genuinely help needed.?
ok i think he did care about you if you have gotten back together a few times after breaking up and that has happened between me and my boyfriend at least 2 times now. i think you should do exactly what everyone else said. all i have left to say is follow your heart and maybe try to talk to him if not ignore him or something or try to make him jealous good luck
Reply:I'd normally say to tell him to choose between you or his family (as bad as that sounds, sometimes a choice has to be made), but he sounds like a rock that wont be moved away from his parents side. I dont know exactly how it works in the Sikh religion. could you talk to his parents and arrange something? or even ask you parents to do something?
this sounds like a difficult matter. either way i wish you good luck.
Reply:remember one thing yar tht IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE SET IT FREE, IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU IT IS YOURS , BUT IF NOT THEN IT WAS NEVER OF YOURS.
so in my opinion if he is nt ready to leave his family and even he is very sure tht they wil never understand ur feelings then it wil be better tht you try to forget him i know tht is impossible for you bt then also atleast you should nt show ur feelings in front of him and dont listen wht he says or coments about you and do exactly opposit of wht he is saying, may be it sounds rude to you bt then also just try it and i dont think so tht it wil be easy for u to be just friends with the guy .
and if you wnt to know tht is he still loves you , just make him jealous also bt dont ask to him like he use to do . just ignore him, avoid receiving his phone calls also,
and if he really loves you and wnt you as his life partner then he wil surely come back.
thts wht i feels abt it.
Reply:Well, first, wow what a long question, next i say i know how you feel, my gf just did this same thing to me to.. but all in all, i say just try to explain a bit more to him but if he is not going to listen i say there is nothing you can do, and just be his friend, and when the time is right, he will know what is right and maybe come to you,.....
P.S.- SORRY FOR THE QUESTION BEING TOO TOO LONG, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD, I NEED YOUR HELP. I NEED A SERIOUS AND A MATURE HELP. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR VIEW POINTS FOR THE SITUATION. PLEASE PLEASE !! THANKS
I am 21, and was dating a 24 year old guy (we both are from India, and from same religious background – Sikh). We both shared a lovely relationship, loved each other totally. We were also involved in a physical relationship on mutual understanding. We dated for about 4 months, and then he wanted to call it off. He thought we were getting onto a serious platform day by day, and he sees no chance of us getting married in the future. (His family is totally anti-love-marriages, for many reasons. And one of them being that one of his first cousins was recently murdered by his wife after 6 months of their Love marriage). He said that he respects me and my feelings, and hence doesn’t want to hurt me in the future, by giving me fake commitment. So, he decided to call it off. We ended almost 4-5 times in last 4 months, and got back every time. Every time we got back, he was always in secured, as he knew we have no future. I always tried explaining him that we can always try and see if things work out well, but he always had a set mind that his parents are never going to accept this (he’s been seeing situations like this in his family with his cousin sibling), and he would never go against his family.
Any which ways, we would end, and we would get back again. For me it was very difficult to come over him, there have been times, when I abused him and have tortured/bothered him with the ugliest of messages, blaming him, but he never returned that stone back to me. He either did not reply to it at all, and if we would talk about it, he would very sweetly say, that please done send me such messages, they make me feel real bad.
Now, we are back again, but as friends only this time. We are not in a relationship, but he said we can remain friends. We are talking properly since 10 days now, though not regularly. We have met, but very generally. Even he is sure, we will not get physical anymore, he has not mentioned, but his gestures prove that.
Now, I don’t know, its really tough for me to accept him only as a friend. I for sure, don’t want to loose him completely, but just being friends make me go mad too most of the time. I miss all those moments I have spent with him. I know he loves me, and that is the reason, that even he is not able to end this completely. Or is he doing this only because I want to get back to him? Did he ever love me? Or he never did? Or does he still have same feelings for me, but for some reasons, he is trying to burry them? What is all this about? Why is he doing this? No, I don’t want to end this all, but, I find nothing good happening? Just being friends, why do u think, if he know he doesn’t have a future with me, and he knows he wants to call it off, even then why does he want to be just friends with me? What all could be the possibilities? I love him, I love him so much. Cant even dare to leave him, but, these questions make me wonder, what exactly would he be thinking? What all would be in his mind? Any games happening? Or does he have some genuine feelings for me? He even tries to make me jealous at times, and says it on purpose, after the discussion, that he wanted to make me feel jealous about it, and then asks me, if I really did get jealous. If we are only friends, then why would he want to make me feel jealous? He still on and off asks me, if I loved him. He still kind of thinks he has a right on me, he tells me if something about me he doesn’t like, for e.g. the other day he told me that iv started wearing deep cleavage tops, and he doesn’t like it. Also, he commented on my hairstyle, and made me change it. Why does he do all this, if we are just friends? Why does he show his right on me? And in the end says, keep meeting me, at least like friends? What is all this about?
I would like to mention, that he is a cusp of Scorpio and Sagittarius. And I am Aries.
Please friends, I know it’s a little too long, but please give me genuine and serious advices. Thanks to all of you in advance.
P.S.- if any one of you have any questions or doubts in the question, please post it in the replies, and I will answer them in additional details, and then you may please revert back after reading the answer. Please, it’s a humble request, to please answer it.
Love relationship in a dilemma.?! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE. genuinely help needed.?
ok i think he did care about you if you have gotten back together a few times after breaking up and that has happened between me and my boyfriend at least 2 times now. i think you should do exactly what everyone else said. all i have left to say is follow your heart and maybe try to talk to him if not ignore him or something or try to make him jealous good luck
Reply:I'd normally say to tell him to choose between you or his family (as bad as that sounds, sometimes a choice has to be made), but he sounds like a rock that wont be moved away from his parents side. I dont know exactly how it works in the Sikh religion. could you talk to his parents and arrange something? or even ask you parents to do something?
this sounds like a difficult matter. either way i wish you good luck.
Reply:remember one thing yar tht IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE SET IT FREE, IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU IT IS YOURS , BUT IF NOT THEN IT WAS NEVER OF YOURS.
so in my opinion if he is nt ready to leave his family and even he is very sure tht they wil never understand ur feelings then it wil be better tht you try to forget him i know tht is impossible for you bt then also atleast you should nt show ur feelings in front of him and dont listen wht he says or coments about you and do exactly opposit of wht he is saying, may be it sounds rude to you bt then also just try it and i dont think so tht it wil be easy for u to be just friends with the guy .
and if you wnt to know tht is he still loves you , just make him jealous also bt dont ask to him like he use to do . just ignore him, avoid receiving his phone calls also,
and if he really loves you and wnt you as his life partner then he wil surely come back.
thts wht i feels abt it.
Reply:Well, first, wow what a long question, next i say i know how you feel, my gf just did this same thing to me to.. but all in all, i say just try to explain a bit more to him but if he is not going to listen i say there is nothing you can do, and just be his friend, and when the time is right, he will know what is right and maybe come to you,.....
Is "love" the most abused word in the English language?
I ask because in the same breath I can say, "I LOVE this can of soda!" and, "I LOVE God!"
It seems like we need something else. Something else to describe how much we care for something...especially when it comes to our spouses and God.
I ask because I'm doing a sermon on this in two weeks...and I like how the Hebrews have many words that describe "love". Especially the "love" that is built on a marriage. THIS love ("Raya", "A'hava", and "Dode") are all built successfully off each other. With "Dode" being the sexual/pleasureable portion that comes WITH marriage ("A'hava" is the love between a husband and wife, and "Raya" is the love between friends).
Maybe I'm rambling here...but I think we abuse our "love" for things. I think the word needs to be broken up into other words.
We can assume our "love" is different...but wouldn't a seperate word be clearer?
Thoughts?
Hope this helps!
Good luck, and may God continue to shine on you.
-Shalom
Is "love" the most abused word in the English language?
I agree that it is abused or mis-used...not so much when you say you "love this can of soda" or when you're describe a certain food that you love.To me that's acceptable and it never phases me if someone or myself says that.I do however think that people are too quick to say "I love you" sometimes.Sometimes I have acquaintances,or co-workers that say that to me or other people without really knowing me/them that well.When it's said to me it's makes me feel uncomfortable...I almost feel obligated to say it back so I don't hurt that persons feelings.It's a damned if you do,damned if you don't kinda thing.If I don't say it back I feel bad....if I do I feel like a fake.....Good question!
Reply:love the question!!
oh wait..now i see what you mean.........
Reply:This question is bound to elicit the usual bleating about language going down the tubes, unthinking use of vocabulary and similar bull. Check your thesaurus under 'love':
adoration, affection, ardor, amourousness, attachment, caring, concern, cherishing, compassion, devotion, enamorment, fancy, favor, fondness, liking, love, lust, passion, tenderness
That's 19 words. Not bad.
And saying you 'love' ice cream or 'love' God is not a misuse of the word. ALL languages are generous with concepts and parsimonious with words. If you want to emphasise your love of God over your love of gravy, nothing stands in your way.
Greeks (I live here) go on about this sort of thing ad nauseam. You cannot say 'agapo to pagoto' (I love ice cream) but you can say 'agapo ton theo' I love God'. Yeah, big deal. You CAN say 'latrevo to pagoto' (I adore/worship ice-cream) and 'latrevo ton theo'.
All meaning depends on context. I don't think anyone seriously believes expressing 'love' for your favourite cheese somehow undermines the use of 'love' for your mother.
Do your sermon on something else. Are you seriously proposing people rifle through a thesaurus before they decide which words to apply to god/their daughter/strawberry yogurt?
.................
Physician, what a bloody dumb comment that is.
Reply:Now you say it I think yes!
Reply:you are totally right!!!!!!
I agree with you
Reply:No. What I have seen is the most abused word is "money"
Besides, english is appropriate for sciences, but for love ?
It would be like giving a lecture on quantum physics
english speaking people make love strictly according to the law, and since it is illegal almost always........
Reply:Amen!
Reply:Couldn't agree more.
Our language has become sloppy and I'm not saying that as a prissy grammarian or proscriptive linguist--but when our words have lost meaning because we use them in so many inappropriate situations.
If we payed more attention to the words we used, if we spoke the things that we actually felt and thought, then we would all be a lot closer to understanding and accepting one another.
Reply:Yes! It definitely is!
= )
Reply:I agree with you. We have just done this topic in R.S. You could use the greek words for Love: agape, storge, pillios and eros. These all have different meanings e.g. sexual attraction, brotherly love, friendship love etc. But yes the word love is definatley abused. We use the same word for chocolate as we do for God or our parents and it is ridiculous.
Reply:I believe so. In spanish there's different ways to say the word love and used in "different levels of love". In dutch is sort of the same however our words are more exact...if that makes any sense. English needs to catch up =)
Reply:Love it. Like it. Well.....You know!
It seems like we need something else. Something else to describe how much we care for something...especially when it comes to our spouses and God.
I ask because I'm doing a sermon on this in two weeks...and I like how the Hebrews have many words that describe "love". Especially the "love" that is built on a marriage. THIS love ("Raya", "A'hava", and "Dode") are all built successfully off each other. With "Dode" being the sexual/pleasureable portion that comes WITH marriage ("A'hava" is the love between a husband and wife, and "Raya" is the love between friends).
Maybe I'm rambling here...but I think we abuse our "love" for things. I think the word needs to be broken up into other words.
We can assume our "love" is different...but wouldn't a seperate word be clearer?
Thoughts?
Hope this helps!
Good luck, and may God continue to shine on you.
-Shalom
Is "love" the most abused word in the English language?
I agree that it is abused or mis-used...not so much when you say you "love this can of soda" or when you're describe a certain food that you love.To me that's acceptable and it never phases me if someone or myself says that.I do however think that people are too quick to say "I love you" sometimes.Sometimes I have acquaintances,or co-workers that say that to me or other people without really knowing me/them that well.When it's said to me it's makes me feel uncomfortable...I almost feel obligated to say it back so I don't hurt that persons feelings.It's a damned if you do,damned if you don't kinda thing.If I don't say it back I feel bad....if I do I feel like a fake.....Good question!
Reply:love the question!!
oh wait..now i see what you mean.........
Reply:This question is bound to elicit the usual bleating about language going down the tubes, unthinking use of vocabulary and similar bull. Check your thesaurus under 'love':
adoration, affection, ardor, amourousness, attachment, caring, concern, cherishing, compassion, devotion, enamorment, fancy, favor, fondness, liking, love, lust, passion, tenderness
That's 19 words. Not bad.
And saying you 'love' ice cream or 'love' God is not a misuse of the word. ALL languages are generous with concepts and parsimonious with words. If you want to emphasise your love of God over your love of gravy, nothing stands in your way.
Greeks (I live here) go on about this sort of thing ad nauseam. You cannot say 'agapo to pagoto' (I love ice cream) but you can say 'agapo ton theo' I love God'. Yeah, big deal. You CAN say 'latrevo to pagoto' (I adore/worship ice-cream) and 'latrevo ton theo'.
All meaning depends on context. I don't think anyone seriously believes expressing 'love' for your favourite cheese somehow undermines the use of 'love' for your mother.
Do your sermon on something else. Are you seriously proposing people rifle through a thesaurus before they decide which words to apply to god/their daughter/strawberry yogurt?
.................
Physician, what a bloody dumb comment that is.
Reply:Now you say it I think yes!
Reply:you are totally right!!!!!!
I agree with you
Reply:No. What I have seen is the most abused word is "money"
Besides, english is appropriate for sciences, but for love ?
It would be like giving a lecture on quantum physics
english speaking people make love strictly according to the law, and since it is illegal almost always........
Reply:Amen!
Reply:Couldn't agree more.
Our language has become sloppy and I'm not saying that as a prissy grammarian or proscriptive linguist--but when our words have lost meaning because we use them in so many inappropriate situations.
If we payed more attention to the words we used, if we spoke the things that we actually felt and thought, then we would all be a lot closer to understanding and accepting one another.
Reply:Yes! It definitely is!
= )
Reply:I agree with you. We have just done this topic in R.S. You could use the greek words for Love: agape, storge, pillios and eros. These all have different meanings e.g. sexual attraction, brotherly love, friendship love etc. But yes the word love is definatley abused. We use the same word for chocolate as we do for God or our parents and it is ridiculous.
Reply:I believe so. In spanish there's different ways to say the word love and used in "different levels of love". In dutch is sort of the same however our words are more exact...if that makes any sense. English needs to catch up =)
Reply:Love it. Like it. Well.....You know!
Teenage Love, First Love and Love At First Sight?
What do you guys think about this? People say first love usually occurs in our teen years and I know mine has too. Some say it's more of curiosity for love than actually love itself. At what age did you realize it was first love? Was it really love?
They also say First Love is unforgettable and I agree? What do you think?
And how about 'Love At First Sight'?
Teenage Love, First Love and Love At First Sight?
My first love was when I was 12 we were together until i was 16 and till this day he still has a special place in my heart, as for teenage love yes it happens my first partner lasted 3 yrs and he was love at first sight...Also my baby sisters first love was love at first sight and her teenage love they have been together since they were 15 yrs old and are now 23 yrs old with 3 children and happilly married so your first love could actually turn out to be your one true love..
Reply:I believe in it. I went to this pool party, and this beautiful girl walked in. Love at first sight.. too bad i dont have the guts to ask her out
Reply:i think it was 14 0r 15....yea it was really love.... its true 1st love u'll never 4get.... love at 1st sight is not true.... well if u think a guy or girl u saw is really hot n think that she is the right one 4 u and u never see him or her and u found another guy or girl... so... i think 1st sight never worked
Reply:I didn't care too much of my high school first love. But I had more intense loves after that I would categorize as unforgettable.
I believe in love at first sight. Its a beautiful thing.
Reply:this one is a real love story .. it started at 13 years old and the girl was 12 that time .. now they are both 25 and 24 but still cant find themselves together ..boys at young age act like girls ... they are shy too .. but soooner when pain and lust comes in at age 20+ man change ... love at first sight happens once .. and first love never dies .. it my story anyway
http://lovethingy.com/true-love.html
Reply:don't believe.
love is mainly associated on knowledge.
Reply:My first love was at 17, that was over 18 years ago and I still think about her every once in awhile. It was wonderful! !
Thanks for making me remember!
Reply:First love always happens when you're a lot younger. In my case, I was 19. Yes, I do think of him every once in a while, so I guess it really never dies-- it just takes a different form, especially if you didn't really break up badly, like in our case. I think I still love him, in my own way, but I still reserve my passion for my man! Him, I really, really love and think of all the time!
Love at first sight? It's possible, but it's a not a good gauge of the relationship's longevity.
Reply:Hey for some reason i don't believe in young teenage love and i'm 16.
Reply:my age was 13
d
Reply:My real date was in my teenage years, 2. But I also think that u can never forget ur first tru love, either.
toothache
They also say First Love is unforgettable and I agree? What do you think?
And how about 'Love At First Sight'?
Teenage Love, First Love and Love At First Sight?
My first love was when I was 12 we were together until i was 16 and till this day he still has a special place in my heart, as for teenage love yes it happens my first partner lasted 3 yrs and he was love at first sight...Also my baby sisters first love was love at first sight and her teenage love they have been together since they were 15 yrs old and are now 23 yrs old with 3 children and happilly married so your first love could actually turn out to be your one true love..
Reply:I believe in it. I went to this pool party, and this beautiful girl walked in. Love at first sight.. too bad i dont have the guts to ask her out
Reply:i think it was 14 0r 15....yea it was really love.... its true 1st love u'll never 4get.... love at 1st sight is not true.... well if u think a guy or girl u saw is really hot n think that she is the right one 4 u and u never see him or her and u found another guy or girl... so... i think 1st sight never worked
Reply:I didn't care too much of my high school first love. But I had more intense loves after that I would categorize as unforgettable.
I believe in love at first sight. Its a beautiful thing.
Reply:this one is a real love story .. it started at 13 years old and the girl was 12 that time .. now they are both 25 and 24 but still cant find themselves together ..boys at young age act like girls ... they are shy too .. but soooner when pain and lust comes in at age 20+ man change ... love at first sight happens once .. and first love never dies .. it my story anyway
http://lovethingy.com/true-love.html
Reply:don't believe.
love is mainly associated on knowledge.
Reply:My first love was at 17, that was over 18 years ago and I still think about her every once in awhile. It was wonderful! !
Thanks for making me remember!
Reply:First love always happens when you're a lot younger. In my case, I was 19. Yes, I do think of him every once in a while, so I guess it really never dies-- it just takes a different form, especially if you didn't really break up badly, like in our case. I think I still love him, in my own way, but I still reserve my passion for my man! Him, I really, really love and think of all the time!
Love at first sight? It's possible, but it's a not a good gauge of the relationship's longevity.
Reply:Hey for some reason i don't believe in young teenage love and i'm 16.
Reply:my age was 13
d
Reply:My real date was in my teenage years, 2. But I also think that u can never forget ur first tru love, either.
toothache
Does consummate love require sex?
according to the triangular theory of love
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_...
consummate love is the ultimate ideal of love, encompassing all three elements of love- passion, intimacy, and commitment. but when I looked consummate up, it was defined as many definitions, all of which focused primarily on sex. the ones that didn't focus on sex were defined as "complete" "perfection", etc. with the appropriate definition for the context stating "the act of having intercourse after marriage" In my opinion sex has nothing to do with love, with my argument being the love is possible without sex, and sex possible without love. Personally, I aim to have a loving relationship with sex at a minimum. the triangular theory of love is something I look to for insight, but could it be possible consummate was the wrong word to use? (I hope so).
Does consummate love require sex?
There're two different words here, and I think either you or some of your sources (or both) might be conflating them.
There's "consummate", which is an adjective meaning ultimate, complete, etc. - the "consummate x" is someone/something who perfectly embodies all the traits we assign to "x", at all times and without fail. So in the phrase "consummate love", the word "consummate" implies nothing whatsoever about the present or absence of sex; only if we associate "love" with sex would the phrase imply anything about the subject.
The other word is "consummation", which sounds very similar, but has a specific meaning in the context of marriage: it refers to the first sex act after the wedding. There was (or perhaps still is) a general idea that a marriage isn't real until the partners have had sex. For example, in the Catholic church, divorce is forbidden, but a marriage which hasn't been consummated can be annulled. Note that none of this makes any reference to love. The context is the legal institution of marriage, which exists independently of love (i.e. both marriage and love exist, but the one does not necessarily depend on the other - each can exist on its own).
(Then there's the romance-novel cliché "they consummated their love," but that can get filed along with the other euphemisms used by the genre.)
Reply:Tsk. Don't confuse one word with multiple meanings and applications for several words. Report It
Reply:The word 'consummate' derives from Latin. 'Con-' means together and '-summus' means highest (like a summit). Thus consummating is reaching the highest level by bringing parts together. (link 1)
It came to have the meaning of the first sex that a bride and groom have together, because according to custom a marriage can be annulled if this does not or cannot happen. Thus, even though the vows are taken between a bride and groom, it is actually having sex that makes the marriage binding. For some really important marriages in the past, there were even WITNESSES placed in the bedroom on the wedding night so the families could attest that sex did actually occur. Yikes.
So one word, just with different implications based on context. That just leaves us with the question of what Sternburg (whose theory this is) means when he uses the term.
While it seems obvious he's talking about long-term relationships and not a single act of sex, he also refers to 'intimacy' and 'passion', both of which are generally associated with sex as well. Some of his other works tend to downplay the idea, however, suggesting that other elements (like expectations - link 2) are more important than actual physical intercourse.
So it would seem that the answer is 'it depends'. Some people cannot maintain passion without sex, and some people cannot feel intimate without sex. If we stick to triangle theory, then they MUST have sex to have a longer-lasting relationship. But I also know people who are uncomfortable about sex, and so it would be likely to make them less passionate and intimate. So it goes.
Reply:At the outset, you are comparing two different things, the verb form "to consumate" and the descriptive adjective "consumate". Both at their root refer to the act of completion, but their differing uses explain the differing sexual focus.
Assuming a historical model in which couples court, fall in love, and only then have sex, then the sexual act is the final completion of their love. Note that this does not mean it's the most important part...simply that it is the final or last development in the courtship/marriage cycle. After all, you can (again assuming you wait till marriage) do all the things *other* than sex (i.e. tenderness, caring, companionship, etc.) prior to marriage.
Compare that to the adjective form in which we are describing someone as complete. For example....we can say that Tiger Woods, for example, is a consumate golfer, that is to say a golfer who has a complete game and is competent in all aspects of his field (i.e. driving, approach shots, putting, etc.)
Note however this does not mean that someone is especially talented. One could be a consumate journeyman, someone who is not brilliant in any one aspect of his field, but is merely average in all fields.
As to the underlying question about sex and love, I'm not sure I agree with your basic premise, i.e. that "consummate love is the ultimate ideal of love, encompassing all three elements of love - passion, intimacy, and commitment." First off, I think you have a definitional problem - what's the difference between passion and intimacy? If you're not passionate, is it really intimate? If you're not intimate, is it really passionate?
Love is certainly possible without sex, and sex is possible without love. Not very good mind you, but certainly possible. However, can you have complete love for your partner without expressing it physically? Let me pose this question - if physical intimacy (sex) is not a part of that expression of love, then surely your partner won't mind if you sleep with someone else, right? Yet we all know this isn't the case....when someone has sex with someone other than their partner, their partner feels, rightly I believe, that something that was theirs has been taken and given to another....and therefore one could say thier love is no longer "consumate" (as opposed to "consumated" the past tense of the verb form).
Reply:No, love and sex are two different things.
Reply:i dont think sex has anything to do with love if it did then casual sex would not exist... But when 2 people are in love sex for me just seems to strengthen the bond as it physical touch is something out of this world... It can give an amazing sense of security
Reply:Consummate love is an all consuming love. The root word being consume. It implies that a person is being consumed with a love that devours all aspects of it. Therefore, it does imply sex. The type of love that does not imply sex is platonic love.
Reply:No.
Reply:I agree with you. Sex- synergistic energy exchange- has nothing to do with love. In fact, when you get older sex is just another chore!!! but love stays. Love yourself first.
Reply:No, but it sure makes it even better!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_...
consummate love is the ultimate ideal of love, encompassing all three elements of love- passion, intimacy, and commitment. but when I looked consummate up, it was defined as many definitions, all of which focused primarily on sex. the ones that didn't focus on sex were defined as "complete" "perfection", etc. with the appropriate definition for the context stating "the act of having intercourse after marriage" In my opinion sex has nothing to do with love, with my argument being the love is possible without sex, and sex possible without love. Personally, I aim to have a loving relationship with sex at a minimum. the triangular theory of love is something I look to for insight, but could it be possible consummate was the wrong word to use? (I hope so).
Does consummate love require sex?
There're two different words here, and I think either you or some of your sources (or both) might be conflating them.
There's "consummate", which is an adjective meaning ultimate, complete, etc. - the "consummate x" is someone/something who perfectly embodies all the traits we assign to "x", at all times and without fail. So in the phrase "consummate love", the word "consummate" implies nothing whatsoever about the present or absence of sex; only if we associate "love" with sex would the phrase imply anything about the subject.
The other word is "consummation", which sounds very similar, but has a specific meaning in the context of marriage: it refers to the first sex act after the wedding. There was (or perhaps still is) a general idea that a marriage isn't real until the partners have had sex. For example, in the Catholic church, divorce is forbidden, but a marriage which hasn't been consummated can be annulled. Note that none of this makes any reference to love. The context is the legal institution of marriage, which exists independently of love (i.e. both marriage and love exist, but the one does not necessarily depend on the other - each can exist on its own).
(Then there's the romance-novel cliché "they consummated their love," but that can get filed along with the other euphemisms used by the genre.)
Reply:Tsk. Don't confuse one word with multiple meanings and applications for several words. Report It
Reply:The word 'consummate' derives from Latin. 'Con-' means together and '-summus' means highest (like a summit). Thus consummating is reaching the highest level by bringing parts together. (link 1)
It came to have the meaning of the first sex that a bride and groom have together, because according to custom a marriage can be annulled if this does not or cannot happen. Thus, even though the vows are taken between a bride and groom, it is actually having sex that makes the marriage binding. For some really important marriages in the past, there were even WITNESSES placed in the bedroom on the wedding night so the families could attest that sex did actually occur. Yikes.
So one word, just with different implications based on context. That just leaves us with the question of what Sternburg (whose theory this is) means when he uses the term.
While it seems obvious he's talking about long-term relationships and not a single act of sex, he also refers to 'intimacy' and 'passion', both of which are generally associated with sex as well. Some of his other works tend to downplay the idea, however, suggesting that other elements (like expectations - link 2) are more important than actual physical intercourse.
So it would seem that the answer is 'it depends'. Some people cannot maintain passion without sex, and some people cannot feel intimate without sex. If we stick to triangle theory, then they MUST have sex to have a longer-lasting relationship. But I also know people who are uncomfortable about sex, and so it would be likely to make them less passionate and intimate. So it goes.
Reply:At the outset, you are comparing two different things, the verb form "to consumate" and the descriptive adjective "consumate". Both at their root refer to the act of completion, but their differing uses explain the differing sexual focus.
Assuming a historical model in which couples court, fall in love, and only then have sex, then the sexual act is the final completion of their love. Note that this does not mean it's the most important part...simply that it is the final or last development in the courtship/marriage cycle. After all, you can (again assuming you wait till marriage) do all the things *other* than sex (i.e. tenderness, caring, companionship, etc.) prior to marriage.
Compare that to the adjective form in which we are describing someone as complete. For example....we can say that Tiger Woods, for example, is a consumate golfer, that is to say a golfer who has a complete game and is competent in all aspects of his field (i.e. driving, approach shots, putting, etc.)
Note however this does not mean that someone is especially talented. One could be a consumate journeyman, someone who is not brilliant in any one aspect of his field, but is merely average in all fields.
As to the underlying question about sex and love, I'm not sure I agree with your basic premise, i.e. that "consummate love is the ultimate ideal of love, encompassing all three elements of love - passion, intimacy, and commitment." First off, I think you have a definitional problem - what's the difference between passion and intimacy? If you're not passionate, is it really intimate? If you're not intimate, is it really passionate?
Love is certainly possible without sex, and sex is possible without love. Not very good mind you, but certainly possible. However, can you have complete love for your partner without expressing it physically? Let me pose this question - if physical intimacy (sex) is not a part of that expression of love, then surely your partner won't mind if you sleep with someone else, right? Yet we all know this isn't the case....when someone has sex with someone other than their partner, their partner feels, rightly I believe, that something that was theirs has been taken and given to another....and therefore one could say thier love is no longer "consumate" (as opposed to "consumated" the past tense of the verb form).
Reply:No, love and sex are two different things.
Reply:i dont think sex has anything to do with love if it did then casual sex would not exist... But when 2 people are in love sex for me just seems to strengthen the bond as it physical touch is something out of this world... It can give an amazing sense of security
Reply:Consummate love is an all consuming love. The root word being consume. It implies that a person is being consumed with a love that devours all aspects of it. Therefore, it does imply sex. The type of love that does not imply sex is platonic love.
Reply:No.
Reply:I agree with you. Sex- synergistic energy exchange- has nothing to do with love. In fact, when you get older sex is just another chore!!! but love stays. Love yourself first.
Reply:No, but it sure makes it even better!
.LOVE vs. LIKE?
never leave the one you LOVE for
the one you LIKE
because the one you LIKE will leave you for the
one they LOVE
True Love Doesnt Have A Happy Ending
BECAUSE
True Love Never Ends
...tonight your
true love will realize
how much they love you. between 1 %26amp; 4 in the
morning, tomorrow the shock of your life will
occur. if you break the chain then
you will have
bad luck....
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
If you REALLY LIKE (or LOVE) SOMEONE right
now
AND MISS THEM and
can't get them out of
your head then
re-post this within 1 minute with
the title LOVE VS. LIKE and whoever you are
missing will surprise you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.LOVE vs. LIKE?
OK, read the above, please!
Reply:YOU LOVE A SANDWICH BUT DONT LIKE THE WAY IT TASTES. OR YOU DONT LIKE THE SANDWICH BUT LOVE THE WAY IT LOOKS
Reply:I will try and see what happens.... ;)
Reply:oh the joy of myspace bulletins.
Reply:myspace.com
Reply:ur goin to hellllllllll
Reply:lol...this looks like something you should be posting on a myspace bulletin, not YA.
the one you LIKE
because the one you LIKE will leave you for the
one they LOVE
True Love Doesnt Have A Happy Ending
BECAUSE
True Love Never Ends
...tonight your
true love will realize
how much they love you. between 1 %26amp; 4 in the
morning, tomorrow the shock of your life will
occur. if you break the chain then
you will have
bad luck....
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
If you REALLY LIKE (or LOVE) SOMEONE right
now
AND MISS THEM and
can't get them out of
your head then
re-post this within 1 minute with
the title LOVE VS. LIKE and whoever you are
missing will surprise you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.LOVE vs. LIKE?
OK, read the above, please!
Reply:YOU LOVE A SANDWICH BUT DONT LIKE THE WAY IT TASTES. OR YOU DONT LIKE THE SANDWICH BUT LOVE THE WAY IT LOOKS
Reply:I will try and see what happens.... ;)
Reply:oh the joy of myspace bulletins.
Reply:myspace.com
Reply:ur goin to hellllllllll
Reply:lol...this looks like something you should be posting on a myspace bulletin, not YA.
Love is not enough . . . there is responsibility that goes along with love. Why don't so many not see this ?
From my own past experience and others I've read on this site . . . why do so many talk of love...yet don't see the responsibility that comes with loving another or another loving you ?
Do you feel that love alone is enough or that there are other factors necessary for love to flourish? Or (do you feel that) I'm ' out of touch ' with the ' realities ' of love and relationships ?
I get frustrated with the seeming unknowingjness of the (joyful) responsibilities that go along with sharing love with another. Not just in the beginning...but for years into the relationship whether that be dating, courtship or marriage.
Your honest thoughts . . .
.
Love is not enough . . . there is responsibility that goes along with love. Why don't so many not see this ?
No, love alone is not enough, although it seems there are many people who believe it should be.
You make an excellent point and I'm delighted to know that I am not the only one who thinks the issue is important enough to at least question what's happening.
If I had to make a guess as to the cause, I would say it is due to social conditioning. I know that is very general, but I've been around for a few years (I'm 41) and I tend to look at underlying messages, particularly when it comes to what we see and hear on television.
With all the different social trends of the past few decades, propagated by people who are more often than not, probably well-intentioned, I think many of us have traded our traditional values in for a more "modern" approach to relationships, including, but not limited to marriage. I believe that somewhere within those trends, selfishness has taken a front-row seat.
That's my honest opinion.
Reply:I agree. Just loving someone is never enough to make a relationship work. I used to think that just loving someone could somehow make everything work out alright, but it doesn't. You have to be able to work and let a little bit of your pride go. Love is a great and powerful thing, but it's never enough to make things work out. You have to be willing to take on some responsibilities.
Reply:Love is not enough.A relationship has to have loyalty,respect,honesty,trust and two people working together on the plateau towards the same goal like marriage as an example
Reply:Yeah, there are responsibilities, to be honest, past that honeymoon phase, it takes alot of communication and compromise to make things work. It's hard work, but worth it if you love them.
Reply:The best way i can descibe it would be
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
(1 Corinthians 13)
Reply:U are so right and not out of touch at all, I'm right there with u all the way!!!
Reply:you hit the nail on the head, it is alot of responsibility, trust and forgiveness
Reply:I LOVED my ex-wife......and where did THAT get me?? You can take "love", and a dollar, and get you a cup of coffee. Love, in and of itself, is very little of ALL that it takes to make a marriage work. It takes a lot of hard work, determination, and forgiveness. LOVE, alone , is NOT enough!
Reply:You are right. When you love someone, it's not just because you enjoy being together. It's about building a foundation of trust, to be able to compromise, to build a future together. Love is very strong, but the responsibility of trust and having faith in each other is stronger.
Reply:You are absolutely right. Couples can not live off of love alone. It takes hard work to make a relationship last. Some people just wanna screw around and have one sexual encounter after another. I just can't see it.
Personally, I would rather have a relationship with that person that wants to learn and grow with me. Long term is where it's at.
Reply:I hate when people say the love a person after one or two encounters it is not love until you can't imagine being with out that special person, when you love the same things, when you want to be together and Love is such a misused word. I love my son unconditional since the day he was born and I love my finance unconditional but it took time to find that love
Do you feel that love alone is enough or that there are other factors necessary for love to flourish? Or (do you feel that) I'm ' out of touch ' with the ' realities ' of love and relationships ?
I get frustrated with the seeming unknowingjness of the (joyful) responsibilities that go along with sharing love with another. Not just in the beginning...but for years into the relationship whether that be dating, courtship or marriage.
Your honest thoughts . . .
.
Love is not enough . . . there is responsibility that goes along with love. Why don't so many not see this ?
No, love alone is not enough, although it seems there are many people who believe it should be.
You make an excellent point and I'm delighted to know that I am not the only one who thinks the issue is important enough to at least question what's happening.
If I had to make a guess as to the cause, I would say it is due to social conditioning. I know that is very general, but I've been around for a few years (I'm 41) and I tend to look at underlying messages, particularly when it comes to what we see and hear on television.
With all the different social trends of the past few decades, propagated by people who are more often than not, probably well-intentioned, I think many of us have traded our traditional values in for a more "modern" approach to relationships, including, but not limited to marriage. I believe that somewhere within those trends, selfishness has taken a front-row seat.
That's my honest opinion.
Reply:I agree. Just loving someone is never enough to make a relationship work. I used to think that just loving someone could somehow make everything work out alright, but it doesn't. You have to be able to work and let a little bit of your pride go. Love is a great and powerful thing, but it's never enough to make things work out. You have to be willing to take on some responsibilities.
Reply:Love is not enough.A relationship has to have loyalty,respect,honesty,trust and two people working together on the plateau towards the same goal like marriage as an example
Reply:Yeah, there are responsibilities, to be honest, past that honeymoon phase, it takes alot of communication and compromise to make things work. It's hard work, but worth it if you love them.
Reply:The best way i can descibe it would be
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
(1 Corinthians 13)
Reply:U are so right and not out of touch at all, I'm right there with u all the way!!!
Reply:you hit the nail on the head, it is alot of responsibility, trust and forgiveness
Reply:I LOVED my ex-wife......and where did THAT get me?? You can take "love", and a dollar, and get you a cup of coffee. Love, in and of itself, is very little of ALL that it takes to make a marriage work. It takes a lot of hard work, determination, and forgiveness. LOVE, alone , is NOT enough!
Reply:You are right. When you love someone, it's not just because you enjoy being together. It's about building a foundation of trust, to be able to compromise, to build a future together. Love is very strong, but the responsibility of trust and having faith in each other is stronger.
Reply:You are absolutely right. Couples can not live off of love alone. It takes hard work to make a relationship last. Some people just wanna screw around and have one sexual encounter after another. I just can't see it.
Personally, I would rather have a relationship with that person that wants to learn and grow with me. Long term is where it's at.
Reply:I hate when people say the love a person after one or two encounters it is not love until you can't imagine being with out that special person, when you love the same things, when you want to be together and Love is such a misused word. I love my son unconditional since the day he was born and I love my finance unconditional but it took time to find that love
Can you write your own love story?
Can you be creative by using some of
the words to the love story written below?
''Queen of Hearts''
As my heart whispers softly to her loving and caring heart I LOVE YOU! My queen, queen of my heart! Then squeezes and kisses it (delivering a magical kiss) through her heart beat, a passionate kiss making her heart deliver her body a sensual feeling, a love unconditional sending chills up and down her spine. The slightest touch of my own soul’s fingertips gently touches her soul caressing it, making her body tingle all over. My heart can speak, my soul can touch! I’m pouring out my truest heart, my deepest love, my million of emotions deep inside built with love, comfort, affection, and many other strong feelings. Feelings that I have for her and every bit of love contains loyalty and happiness. My conscience in the back of my mind is calling for me other men shattered her heart now this is the time; this is the place to prove that you’re a real man to her. Respect her, cherish her, and treat her right she’s a real lady! Chemistry makes a move on us as the King’s and the Queen’s body temperature rise and burning for passion setting two hearts on fire both racing for each other, but both beats on rhythm. Her mind travels through her tongue making it speak make love to me, touching and holding, grinding and moaning. Lovers under the moon light the stars shinning so bright doing it, and doing it until the morning daylight. ‘’ I touched her gently, I whispered softly in her ear’’ Our love shall never end… Lying in bed in between the sheets our bodies feel the heat escalading higher and higher making our hearts beat faster and faster in a rapidly pace but singing so beautiful and lovely. A marvelous sound so unique and rare. Her love I’ll cherish, her heart I’ll hold forever… I’ll run your bath water, light up some candles, put on some smooth rhythm and blues nothing but bubbles, and orange rose petals. I’ll save the best for last intentions of rubbing and giving god’s angel a full body massages stones and oil. This angel is one of a kind I can see the stars sparkle in her eyes, the moon, and the sun rise everyday. I’m not the man to ever scold her; I’m the man to only love her! There's no other love that could compare to what the heavens above up gave us. Ever since you came into my life you made my life complete we built a bond out of friendship by loyalty and there’s romance and respect, and I’m ready to commitment, and I’ll be saying I do! My heart speaks to me If you have the need for admiration, you may have fallen in love and I have with a beautiful orange rose blossoming about to unfurl, and In my heart lies the truth, and there’s no me with you, a King’s touch to make his queen’s body shiver a King’s kiss to make her juicy lips quiver because I LOVE YOU, my ''Queen of Hearts'' and my heart belongs to you!
Can you write your own love story?
Hmm... well okay!
You always there for me, day or night,
ur my sunshine, you never give up, no one can keep us
apart, are love is stronger than anyone else,
don't ever go away!!!
~ i don't know if its good i just thought of it and just wrote it wat do u think???
Reply:I’m going to use these phrases taken from the story above:
1.My heart whispers softly
2.A love unconditional
3.Every bit of love contains loyalty and happiness
4.Chemistry makes a move on us
5.Lovers under the moonlight
6.A marvelous sound so unique and rare
7.This angel is one of a kind
8.No other love that could compare
9.My heart speaks to me
10. In my heart lies the truth
Dear Diary...
Where did he come from? How does he know exactly what to say and when? THIS ANGEL IS ONE OF A KIND!! What were once quiet hours spent alone has turned into a daily adventure. There are constant surprises, and music. Oh Lord, such sweet music. When I listen, it is A MARVELOUS SOUND SO UNIQUE AND RARE, that vivid pictures come to mind, and everything is possible. MY HEART WHISPERS SOFTLY to tread lightly, as a river of emotion washes over me. CHEMISTRY, MAKES A MOVE ON US and I find that he is on my mind constantly. Where is he? What is he doing? Is he ok? I miss him terribly, and I long to be in his embrace.
My mind drifts and for a moment we are LOVERS UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. His words engulf me, and I am void of reality, blinded by circumstance. In that instant we share a tender love that is infinite. There is NO OTHER LOVE THAT COULD COMPARE, as we exist in a place that has moved beyond boundaries to a heaven where A LOVE UNCONDITIONAL prevails. Seemingly we are always there for each other, with open arms. He lifts my spirit as EVERY BIT OF LOVE CONTAINS LOYALTY AND HAPPINESS that is genuine. MY HEART SPEAKS TO ME constantly, as I crave our interaction. I can hardly wait. I can barely keep my feelings contained. It’s not a fairytale....
IN MY HEART LIES THE TRUTH....
Touché
cavities
the words to the love story written below?
''Queen of Hearts''
As my heart whispers softly to her loving and caring heart I LOVE YOU! My queen, queen of my heart! Then squeezes and kisses it (delivering a magical kiss) through her heart beat, a passionate kiss making her heart deliver her body a sensual feeling, a love unconditional sending chills up and down her spine. The slightest touch of my own soul’s fingertips gently touches her soul caressing it, making her body tingle all over. My heart can speak, my soul can touch! I’m pouring out my truest heart, my deepest love, my million of emotions deep inside built with love, comfort, affection, and many other strong feelings. Feelings that I have for her and every bit of love contains loyalty and happiness. My conscience in the back of my mind is calling for me other men shattered her heart now this is the time; this is the place to prove that you’re a real man to her. Respect her, cherish her, and treat her right she’s a real lady! Chemistry makes a move on us as the King’s and the Queen’s body temperature rise and burning for passion setting two hearts on fire both racing for each other, but both beats on rhythm. Her mind travels through her tongue making it speak make love to me, touching and holding, grinding and moaning. Lovers under the moon light the stars shinning so bright doing it, and doing it until the morning daylight. ‘’ I touched her gently, I whispered softly in her ear’’ Our love shall never end… Lying in bed in between the sheets our bodies feel the heat escalading higher and higher making our hearts beat faster and faster in a rapidly pace but singing so beautiful and lovely. A marvelous sound so unique and rare. Her love I’ll cherish, her heart I’ll hold forever… I’ll run your bath water, light up some candles, put on some smooth rhythm and blues nothing but bubbles, and orange rose petals. I’ll save the best for last intentions of rubbing and giving god’s angel a full body massages stones and oil. This angel is one of a kind I can see the stars sparkle in her eyes, the moon, and the sun rise everyday. I’m not the man to ever scold her; I’m the man to only love her! There's no other love that could compare to what the heavens above up gave us. Ever since you came into my life you made my life complete we built a bond out of friendship by loyalty and there’s romance and respect, and I’m ready to commitment, and I’ll be saying I do! My heart speaks to me If you have the need for admiration, you may have fallen in love and I have with a beautiful orange rose blossoming about to unfurl, and In my heart lies the truth, and there’s no me with you, a King’s touch to make his queen’s body shiver a King’s kiss to make her juicy lips quiver because I LOVE YOU, my ''Queen of Hearts'' and my heart belongs to you!
Can you write your own love story?
Hmm... well okay!
You always there for me, day or night,
ur my sunshine, you never give up, no one can keep us
apart, are love is stronger than anyone else,
don't ever go away!!!
~ i don't know if its good i just thought of it and just wrote it wat do u think???
Reply:I’m going to use these phrases taken from the story above:
1.My heart whispers softly
2.A love unconditional
3.Every bit of love contains loyalty and happiness
4.Chemistry makes a move on us
5.Lovers under the moonlight
6.A marvelous sound so unique and rare
7.This angel is one of a kind
8.No other love that could compare
9.My heart speaks to me
10. In my heart lies the truth
Dear Diary...
Where did he come from? How does he know exactly what to say and when? THIS ANGEL IS ONE OF A KIND!! What were once quiet hours spent alone has turned into a daily adventure. There are constant surprises, and music. Oh Lord, such sweet music. When I listen, it is A MARVELOUS SOUND SO UNIQUE AND RARE, that vivid pictures come to mind, and everything is possible. MY HEART WHISPERS SOFTLY to tread lightly, as a river of emotion washes over me. CHEMISTRY, MAKES A MOVE ON US and I find that he is on my mind constantly. Where is he? What is he doing? Is he ok? I miss him terribly, and I long to be in his embrace.
My mind drifts and for a moment we are LOVERS UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. His words engulf me, and I am void of reality, blinded by circumstance. In that instant we share a tender love that is infinite. There is NO OTHER LOVE THAT COULD COMPARE, as we exist in a place that has moved beyond boundaries to a heaven where A LOVE UNCONDITIONAL prevails. Seemingly we are always there for each other, with open arms. He lifts my spirit as EVERY BIT OF LOVE CONTAINS LOYALTY AND HAPPINESS that is genuine. MY HEART SPEAKS TO ME constantly, as I crave our interaction. I can hardly wait. I can barely keep my feelings contained. It’s not a fairytale....
IN MY HEART LIES THE TRUTH....
Touché
cavities
Love or lust which is best-im Jewish born-and repented of my lust and other sins-and got the joy of JesusOhYes
In marriage the bed is undefiled, but all others shall be judged. Hebrews 13th chapter
love is true care-unselfishly-no greater love hath any one than this that they lay down their life for a friend-yet when we were still sinners against him, Jesus died for us-read John 3 and 10th chapter too and pray and let him into your heart-to be ready for a start-loving Jesus, yourself and then another-we cant love another more than we respect ourselves -and love ourselves in a healthy way
lust is true carelessness-selfishly-soul bondage ties are formed-which push God away and bring us down to captivity (bondage) in the last days the bible says many will of the hardness of their heart turn away from God-and be decieved and the love of many will grow cold-
sow good seeds for tomorrows needs and true love will be there-instead of ending in life in despair and in hell gnashing teeth forever there-Revelation 19-22nd chapters heaven and hell described
Revelation 3:19%26amp;20 "Behold i love U"
Love or lust which is best-im Jewish born-and repented of my lust and other sins-and got the joy of JesusOhYes
I didn't see a question mark in all that you wrote, but you did mentioned which is best...love or lust. Love is best. Love lasts forever, lust in temporary. Thats a wonderful statement you made....now go and sin no more (John 8:11)!!!
Reply:this is not a question!!!
Reply:David,
You are a Christian. Stop this evil and deceptive form of missionizing. It degrades Christianity.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
. It is, by definition, impossible for it to be "jewish" to believe in jesus. "Jewish" is, by defintion, what jews have historically and contemporarily believe. Since in neither scenario do we find "believing in jesus", then we must clearly realize that belief in jesus is not something "jewish". You can call it "biblical" (and still be wrong), but certainly not "jewish".
. On the side, the subject of Isaiah 53 is promised a "long life" and "seed" (i.e. physical children). Clearly this isn't about jesus.
. And Isaiah 7 is clearly not messianic if you read the whole chapter. and "alma" doesn't mean virgin either. You'd know that if you spoke hebrew (I guess it wasn't part of your "extensive jewish upbringing", huh?)
. On the side, Isaiah 9 can't be about jesus since, according to christianity, he's the "son" not the "father" (as the verse states). Nor did he have control of the government (to the contrary, the roman government killed him). And he certainly did not establish "endless peace".
======================================...
Sources:
http://www.aish.com/jewishissues/jewishs...
http://jewsforjudaism.org/web/faq/genera...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_mess...
======================================...
oh, and lastly, I've decided that you truly epitomize everything I find intensely intellectually unsatisfying about christianity. (And you clearly do not understand hebrew.)
love is true care-unselfishly-no greater love hath any one than this that they lay down their life for a friend-yet when we were still sinners against him, Jesus died for us-read John 3 and 10th chapter too and pray and let him into your heart-to be ready for a start-loving Jesus, yourself and then another-we cant love another more than we respect ourselves -and love ourselves in a healthy way
lust is true carelessness-selfishly-soul bondage ties are formed-which push God away and bring us down to captivity (bondage) in the last days the bible says many will of the hardness of their heart turn away from God-and be decieved and the love of many will grow cold-
sow good seeds for tomorrows needs and true love will be there-instead of ending in life in despair and in hell gnashing teeth forever there-Revelation 19-22nd chapters heaven and hell described
Revelation 3:19%26amp;20 "Behold i love U"
Love or lust which is best-im Jewish born-and repented of my lust and other sins-and got the joy of JesusOhYes
I didn't see a question mark in all that you wrote, but you did mentioned which is best...love or lust. Love is best. Love lasts forever, lust in temporary. Thats a wonderful statement you made....now go and sin no more (John 8:11)!!!
Reply:this is not a question!!!
Reply:David,
You are a Christian. Stop this evil and deceptive form of missionizing. It degrades Christianity.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
. It is, by definition, impossible for it to be "jewish" to believe in jesus. "Jewish" is, by defintion, what jews have historically and contemporarily believe. Since in neither scenario do we find "believing in jesus", then we must clearly realize that belief in jesus is not something "jewish". You can call it "biblical" (and still be wrong), but certainly not "jewish".
. On the side, the subject of Isaiah 53 is promised a "long life" and "seed" (i.e. physical children). Clearly this isn't about jesus.
. And Isaiah 7 is clearly not messianic if you read the whole chapter. and "alma" doesn't mean virgin either. You'd know that if you spoke hebrew (I guess it wasn't part of your "extensive jewish upbringing", huh?)
. On the side, Isaiah 9 can't be about jesus since, according to christianity, he's the "son" not the "father" (as the verse states). Nor did he have control of the government (to the contrary, the roman government killed him). And he certainly did not establish "endless peace".
======================================...
Sources:
http://www.aish.com/jewishissues/jewishs...
http://jewsforjudaism.org/web/faq/genera...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_mess...
======================================...
oh, and lastly, I've decided that you truly epitomize everything I find intensely intellectually unsatisfying about christianity. (And you clearly do not understand hebrew.)
Is love the cause of all the world's problems?
Very often you hear people say all the world needs is for people to love eachother more. Is that true though?
Think about what love brings: jealousy, selfishness, distrust, hate, etc.
An example:
We love our pets. So much so that in North America we spend far more on our pets than we donate to save people who are dying in poor countries.
Is that an example of love, or of selfishness? We love our pets because they're companions to us. We keep them so that *we* don't feel lonely. If they were a wild animal we would likely consider them a pest and try to scare them off so they don't get into our trash. It's the same animal, except in the latter case it doesn't do anything for us.
You can love a person, an animal, a piece of land, money, a way of life. All of these you love because of how it makes YOU feel. If it didn't make *you* feel great it wouldn't be important to you. Because of that, isnt love a selfish emotion?
Does the world really need more love? (more below)
Is love the cause of all the world's problems?
I agree with you.every feeling we have for others is selfish.we are egoistic beings.Even when somebody we "loved" die ,we always say;why did you leave "me" alone.we love because we wane to be loved. everything we relate it to our self's
Reply:You are not describing true love. You are describing selfish desire. If you truly love someone, you want what is best for them. You will always be there for them when they need you.
No, true love is not the same, nor does it contribute, to the negative traits mentioned in your question.
Reply:Love has nothing to do with jealously. selfishness, distrust or hate.
Sounds to me like you've had some bumpy relationships.
None of those emotions come from love. You wouldn't want to make people miserable if you love them. Sure you can love them, but your actions may not always be loving.
Listen, my dog was equal as a brother to me. Call me selfish all you want but I was broken up when he died. Sure he made me happy, but what can I do? He's a living being.
I stand by this view "what the world needs now is love sweet love. It's the only thing that there's just to little of."
Reply:You don't know what love is. Too few do.
Reply:This question might attract more useful and knowledgeable answers if asked in its relevant category under Social Science.
Reply:I think the problems the world faces are due to the LACK of love in the world. We should all live by the Golden Rule. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
Reply:There are different kinds of love. There is a love called agape which is an unselfish love for all humanity.
You are right. Too often what people call love is really something selfish. But then we are human beings with complex needs. And not very many of us are so evolved as to be able to love all human beings equally.
Reply:There are many different factors that lead to the troubles of the world today and I have lots of info that I think you will find quite helpful and enlightening:
http://ecowellness.multiply.com/ for excellent inspirational info within my blog to help not only our world and its creatures, but to also open peoples hearts and minds to many amazing wonders that life has to offer. I also have lots of info in my blog to help fuel peoples imaginations to many possibilities that can be found only in the minds eye.
Along with lots of environmental info, amazing environmental pictures and videos (These videos show the beauty of this world and what life can be like if people take the time to appreciate life’s true beauty).
Let us all strive for a greener/brighter future by helping to create a solid foundation for future generations to build upon, so we can hand them a beautiful world, filled with never ending awe and wonders!!
Where peoples differences and uniqueness are accepted, where we all live as one, helping one another so that we can all play our own mysteriously beautiful melodies in the never ending, awe inspiring, song of life :-)
I truly have faith in humanity and believe that someday our lives and the world in which we live will truly be transformed for the better.
Reply:man,like if ya don't see a shrink or some'en you are gonna blow,,they be findin pieces everywhere%26lt;%26gt;IS%26lt;%26lt;%26gt;
Reply:Sorry but you need to find real love before you go describing it, you've obviously have your facts wrong.
Reply:I disagree. If we loved the "people who are dieing in poor countries" we would donate to them. The problem is, it is hard to truly love someone you don't even know exists.
Have you ever noticed how a lot of times if someone does something, someone will get mad, and be like "whomg why did he do that? He is stupid!" Well then once they find out it was a friend or other close person, they'll normaly immidiatly change and say things more like "Oh, i'm sure he didn't mean it! It was probably an accident."
Also not many people actualy LOVE their pets.... Most of the time people give affection and stuff to their pets, it is because it makes THEM feel better, the pets would be ok without it (sometimes even prefering they didn't). If you've ever seen the Dog Whisperer, you might have heard Caesar say it :P Almost all the problems he deals with is that the owners "love" the dog, and so they baby it. It is only after Caesar makes them treat them like a dog (which some are resistant to do because of their "love"), that the dog becomes normal again. Not only does the dog become normal, it becomes HAPPIER too.
Edit: -.- So you intentionaly supported your statement of love not beniefiting people with PSUEDO-LOVE? -.- Wow.....
The Golden rule isn't the BEST either. The way we would like to be treated is not the same as others (see above example about babying dogs).
Love doesn't envoke usefull emotions. Love is the motivator of doing kind actions. So you see, no emotion is benificial in that way i guess... Because it only exists in our mind, not physicaly doing things to others.
LOL! True love isn't true love because it lasted. True love is something that is actualy love, not psuedo-love. And then people change, even likes and dislikes change. So then they no longer like the different person. Unconditional love would be love that would always last. Love doesn't need to be given back to you. Love is crushing the dualist illusion and realising you and the other are actualy one.
Think about what love brings: jealousy, selfishness, distrust, hate, etc.
An example:
We love our pets. So much so that in North America we spend far more on our pets than we donate to save people who are dying in poor countries.
Is that an example of love, or of selfishness? We love our pets because they're companions to us. We keep them so that *we* don't feel lonely. If they were a wild animal we would likely consider them a pest and try to scare them off so they don't get into our trash. It's the same animal, except in the latter case it doesn't do anything for us.
You can love a person, an animal, a piece of land, money, a way of life. All of these you love because of how it makes YOU feel. If it didn't make *you* feel great it wouldn't be important to you. Because of that, isnt love a selfish emotion?
Does the world really need more love? (more below)
Is love the cause of all the world's problems?
I agree with you.every feeling we have for others is selfish.we are egoistic beings.Even when somebody we "loved" die ,we always say;why did you leave "me" alone.we love because we wane to be loved. everything we relate it to our self's
Reply:You are not describing true love. You are describing selfish desire. If you truly love someone, you want what is best for them. You will always be there for them when they need you.
No, true love is not the same, nor does it contribute, to the negative traits mentioned in your question.
Reply:Love has nothing to do with jealously. selfishness, distrust or hate.
Sounds to me like you've had some bumpy relationships.
None of those emotions come from love. You wouldn't want to make people miserable if you love them. Sure you can love them, but your actions may not always be loving.
Listen, my dog was equal as a brother to me. Call me selfish all you want but I was broken up when he died. Sure he made me happy, but what can I do? He's a living being.
I stand by this view "what the world needs now is love sweet love. It's the only thing that there's just to little of."
Reply:You don't know what love is. Too few do.
Reply:This question might attract more useful and knowledgeable answers if asked in its relevant category under Social Science.
Reply:I think the problems the world faces are due to the LACK of love in the world. We should all live by the Golden Rule. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
Reply:There are different kinds of love. There is a love called agape which is an unselfish love for all humanity.
You are right. Too often what people call love is really something selfish. But then we are human beings with complex needs. And not very many of us are so evolved as to be able to love all human beings equally.
Reply:There are many different factors that lead to the troubles of the world today and I have lots of info that I think you will find quite helpful and enlightening:
http://ecowellness.multiply.com/ for excellent inspirational info within my blog to help not only our world and its creatures, but to also open peoples hearts and minds to many amazing wonders that life has to offer. I also have lots of info in my blog to help fuel peoples imaginations to many possibilities that can be found only in the minds eye.
Along with lots of environmental info, amazing environmental pictures and videos (These videos show the beauty of this world and what life can be like if people take the time to appreciate life’s true beauty).
Let us all strive for a greener/brighter future by helping to create a solid foundation for future generations to build upon, so we can hand them a beautiful world, filled with never ending awe and wonders!!
Where peoples differences and uniqueness are accepted, where we all live as one, helping one another so that we can all play our own mysteriously beautiful melodies in the never ending, awe inspiring, song of life :-)
I truly have faith in humanity and believe that someday our lives and the world in which we live will truly be transformed for the better.
Reply:man,like if ya don't see a shrink or some'en you are gonna blow,,they be findin pieces everywhere%26lt;%26gt;IS%26lt;%26lt;%26gt;
Reply:Sorry but you need to find real love before you go describing it, you've obviously have your facts wrong.
Reply:I disagree. If we loved the "people who are dieing in poor countries" we would donate to them. The problem is, it is hard to truly love someone you don't even know exists.
Have you ever noticed how a lot of times if someone does something, someone will get mad, and be like "whomg why did he do that? He is stupid!" Well then once they find out it was a friend or other close person, they'll normaly immidiatly change and say things more like "Oh, i'm sure he didn't mean it! It was probably an accident."
Also not many people actualy LOVE their pets.... Most of the time people give affection and stuff to their pets, it is because it makes THEM feel better, the pets would be ok without it (sometimes even prefering they didn't). If you've ever seen the Dog Whisperer, you might have heard Caesar say it :P Almost all the problems he deals with is that the owners "love" the dog, and so they baby it. It is only after Caesar makes them treat them like a dog (which some are resistant to do because of their "love"), that the dog becomes normal again. Not only does the dog become normal, it becomes HAPPIER too.
Edit: -.- So you intentionaly supported your statement of love not beniefiting people with PSUEDO-LOVE? -.- Wow.....
The Golden rule isn't the BEST either. The way we would like to be treated is not the same as others (see above example about babying dogs).
Love doesn't envoke usefull emotions. Love is the motivator of doing kind actions. So you see, no emotion is benificial in that way i guess... Because it only exists in our mind, not physicaly doing things to others.
LOL! True love isn't true love because it lasted. True love is something that is actualy love, not psuedo-love. And then people change, even likes and dislikes change. So then they no longer like the different person. Unconditional love would be love that would always last. Love doesn't need to be given back to you. Love is crushing the dualist illusion and realising you and the other are actualy one.
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