Love relationship in a dilemma.?! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE. genuinely help needed.?

P.S.- SORRY FOR THE QUESTION BEING TOO TOO LONG, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD, I NEED YOUR HELP. I NEED A SERIOUS AND A MATURE HELP. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR VIEW POINTS FOR THE SITUATION. PLEASE PLEASE !! THANKS








I am 21, and was dating a 24 year old guy (we both are from India, and from same religious background – Sikh). We both shared a lovely relationship, loved each other totally. We were also involved in a physical relationship on mutual understanding. We dated for about 4 months, and then he wanted to call it off. He thought we were getting onto a serious platform day by day, and he sees no chance of us getting married in the future. (His family is totally anti-love-marriages, for many reasons. And one of them being that one of his first cousins was recently murdered by his wife after 6 months of their Love marriage). He said that he respects me and my feelings, and hence doesn’t want to hurt me in the future, by giving me fake commitment. So, he decided to call it off. We ended almost 4-5 times in last 4 months, and got back every time. Every time we got back, he was always in secured, as he knew we have no future. I always tried explaining him that we can always try and see if things work out well, but he always had a set mind that his parents are never going to accept this (he’s been seeing situations like this in his family with his cousin sibling), and he would never go against his family.


Any which ways, we would end, and we would get back again. For me it was very difficult to come over him, there have been times, when I abused him and have tortured/bothered him with the ugliest of messages, blaming him, but he never returned that stone back to me. He either did not reply to it at all, and if we would talk about it, he would very sweetly say, that please done send me such messages, they make me feel real bad.


Now, we are back again, but as friends only this time. We are not in a relationship, but he said we can remain friends. We are talking properly since 10 days now, though not regularly. We have met, but very generally. Even he is sure, we will not get physical anymore, he has not mentioned, but his gestures prove that.


Now, I don’t know, its really tough for me to accept him only as a friend. I for sure, don’t want to loose him completely, but just being friends make me go mad too most of the time. I miss all those moments I have spent with him. I know he loves me, and that is the reason, that even he is not able to end this completely. Or is he doing this only because I want to get back to him? Did he ever love me? Or he never did? Or does he still have same feelings for me, but for some reasons, he is trying to burry them? What is all this about? Why is he doing this? No, I don’t want to end this all, but, I find nothing good happening? Just being friends, why do u think, if he know he doesn’t have a future with me, and he knows he wants to call it off, even then why does he want to be just friends with me? What all could be the possibilities? I love him, I love him so much. Cant even dare to leave him, but, these questions make me wonder, what exactly would he be thinking? What all would be in his mind? Any games happening? Or does he have some genuine feelings for me? He even tries to make me jealous at times, and says it on purpose, after the discussion, that he wanted to make me feel jealous about it, and then asks me, if I really did get jealous. If we are only friends, then why would he want to make me feel jealous? He still on and off asks me, if I loved him. He still kind of thinks he has a right on me, he tells me if something about me he doesn’t like, for e.g. the other day he told me that iv started wearing deep cleavage tops, and he doesn’t like it. Also, he commented on my hairstyle, and made me change it. Why does he do all this, if we are just friends? Why does he show his right on me? And in the end says, keep meeting me, at least like friends? What is all this about?


I would like to mention, that he is a cusp of Scorpio and Sagittarius. And I am Aries.


Please friends, I know it’s a little too long, but please give me genuine and serious advices. Thanks to all of you in advance.


P.S.- if any one of you have any questions or doubts in the question, please post it in the replies, and I will answer them in additional details, and then you may please revert back after reading the answer. Please, it’s a humble request, to please answer it.

Love relationship in a dilemma.?! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE. genuinely help needed.?
AoA please i totally understand that you are madly deeply and totally in love with him... you have given so many gifts to him, your soul, your friendship, your anger, your sanity, your body, and your respect. I can appreciate your pain... you are having to analyse his every thinking and every mood and every word because his actions contradict his words to you.


Contradiction... i think that is what he is feeling and torn as well inside much much more than you realise.. remember that a mans actions are all you really need to remember...


when he is asking you to change for him this is a asian mans way of so to say trying you on for size ... a way of testing how much will you do for him... how far will you go in your love for him.. you are so open and emotional he knows you well that he can ask and quite possibly recieve from you, however the duty to his family not duty but if he is not even now willing to say to you that he will fight them on this matter then you must must realise or come to the conclusion that he has already accepted that their opinions and views are now his...





its ok that its so long a message you really poured your heart out for the world to see and i pray that everyone is so kind and understanding of a love that is so powerful and respectful of your culture when they answer you..


ask yourself can you live the rest of your life with him living in your heart? or do you really need to have him there with you physically?


is he a brave man willing to fight for this genuine pure love that have solely for him?





ask yourself can you focus on being his best friend doing all that is required of yourself to be a good friend to him... its hard even sometimes impossible to revert back to sole friendship after love starts but it happens even in the best loves... explain to him your view or version of just friends... tell him you know he loves you from the core of his heart.. and that you understand that this moment in his life is pivotal basically he is at a crossroads where he can choose to lose you or chose you for his life.. this does not mean that you threaten him or think to leave him you must sincerely intend your heart for him until he makes that decision it will be so hard for both of you. i really will pray for you for your life and for your love.. i must run to my child now.. please email if you want..A H
Reply:You miss the SEX!!!! I promise I know how you feel. Just give it some time, pull back and let him miss you, but don't let him forget you either.