Love relationship in a dilemma.?! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE. genuinely help needed.?

I


P.S.- SORRY FOR THE QUESTION BEING TOO TOO LONG, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD, I NEED YOUR HELP. I NEED A SERIOUS AND A MATURE HELP. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR VIEW POINTS FOR THE SITUATION. PLEASE PLEASE !! THANKS








I am 21, and was dating a 24 year old guy (we both are from India, and from same religious background – Sikh). We both shared a lovely relationship, loved each other totally. We were also involved in a physical relationship on mutual understanding. We dated for about 4 months, and then he wanted to call it off. He thought we were getting onto a serious platform day by day, and he sees no chance of us getting married in the future. (His family is totally anti-love-marriages, for many reasons. And one of them being that one of his first cousins was recently murdered by his wife after 6 months of their Love marriage). He said that he respects me and my feelings, and hence doesn’t want to hurt me in the future, by giving me fake commitment. So, he decided to call it off. We ended almost 4-5 times in last 4 months, and got back every time. Every time we got back, he was always in secured, as he knew we have no future. I always tried explaining him that we can always try and see if things work out well, but he always had a set mind that his parents are never going to accept this (he’s been seeing situations like this in his family with his cousin sibling), and he would never go against his family.


Any which ways, we would end, and we would get back again. For me it was very difficult to come over him, there have been times, when I abused him and have tortured/bothered him with the ugliest of messages, blaming him, but he never returned that stone back to me. He either did not reply to it at all, and if we would talk about it, he would very sweetly say, that please done send me such messages, they make me feel real bad.


Now, we are back again, but as friends only this time. We are not in a relationship, but he said we can remain friends. We are talking properly since 10 days now, though not regularly. We have met, but very generally. Even he is sure, we will not get physical anymore, he has not mentioned, but his gestures prove that.


Now, I don’t know, its really tough for me to accept him only as a friend. I for sure, don’t want to loose him completely, but just being friends make me go mad too most of the time. I miss all those moments I have spent with him. I know he loves me, and that is the reason, that even he is not able to end this completely. Or is he doing this only because I want to get back to him? Did he ever love me? Or he never did? Or does he still have same feelings for me, but for some reasons, he is trying to burry them? What is all this about? Why is he doing this? No, I don’t want to end this all, but, I find nothing good happening? Just being friends, why do u think, if he know he doesn’t have a future with me, and he knows he wants to call it off, even then why does he want to be just friends with me? What all could be the possibilities? I love him, I love him so much. Cant even dare to leave him, but, these questions make me wonder, what exactly would he be thinking? What all would be in his mind? Any games happening? Or does he have some genuine feelings for me? He even tries to make me jealous at times, and says it on purpose, after the discussion, that he wanted to make me feel jealous about it, and then asks me, if I really did get jealous. If we are only friends, then why would he want to make me feel jealous? He still on and off asks me, if I loved him. He still kind of thinks he has a right on me, he tells me if something about me he doesn’t like, for e.g. the other day he told me that iv started wearing deep cleavage tops, and he doesn’t like it. Also, he commented on my hairstyle, and made me change it. Why does he do all this, if we are just friends? Why does he show his right on me? And in the end says, keep meeting me, at least like friends? What is all this about?


I would like to mention, that he is a cusp of Scorpio and Sagittarius. And I am Aries.


Please friends, I know it’s a little too long, but please give me genuine and serious advices. Thanks to all of you in advance.


P.S.- if any one of you have any questions or doubts in the question, please post it in the replies, and I will answer them in additional details, and then you may please revert back after reading the answer. Please, it’s a humble request, to please answer it.

Love relationship in a dilemma.?! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE. genuinely help needed.?
ok i think he did care about you if you have gotten back together a few times after breaking up and that has happened between me and my boyfriend at least 2 times now. i think you should do exactly what everyone else said. all i have left to say is follow your heart and maybe try to talk to him if not ignore him or something or try to make him jealous good luck
Reply:I'd normally say to tell him to choose between you or his family (as bad as that sounds, sometimes a choice has to be made), but he sounds like a rock that wont be moved away from his parents side. I dont know exactly how it works in the Sikh religion. could you talk to his parents and arrange something? or even ask you parents to do something?





this sounds like a difficult matter. either way i wish you good luck.
Reply:remember one thing yar tht IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE SET IT FREE, IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU IT IS YOURS , BUT IF NOT THEN IT WAS NEVER OF YOURS.





so in my opinion if he is nt ready to leave his family and even he is very sure tht they wil never understand ur feelings then it wil be better tht you try to forget him i know tht is impossible for you bt then also atleast you should nt show ur feelings in front of him and dont listen wht he says or coments about you and do exactly opposit of wht he is saying, may be it sounds rude to you bt then also just try it and i dont think so tht it wil be easy for u to be just friends with the guy .


and if you wnt to know tht is he still loves you , just make him jealous also bt dont ask to him like he use to do . just ignore him, avoid receiving his phone calls also,


and if he really loves you and wnt you as his life partner then he wil surely come back.


thts wht i feels abt it.
Reply:Well, first, wow what a long question, next i say i know how you feel, my gf just did this same thing to me to.. but all in all, i say just try to explain a bit more to him but if he is not going to listen i say there is nothing you can do, and just be his friend, and when the time is right, he will know what is right and maybe come to you,.....