Friday, April 16, 2010

Loves me but he's not "in love" with me?

My boyfriend told me last night, that he loves me but he's not "in love" with me. Now how in the h#ll am I suppose to take that? Everyday he tells me he loves me, but when I asked him last night if he was "in love" with me the a$$hole said no, and that it's not the type of love that he use to have for me back when we first started dating at 14 %26amp; 13...We had a five year break at 17 %26amp; 18... We got back together almost a year ago... He begged me to get back with him...We have been living together since Dec. of this year....I am 24yrs old and he's 25yr old...What should I do??...Should I pack my things and leave?....

Loves me but he's not "in love" with me?
Pack!...but understand too...at 13 %26amp; 14 neither one of you were mature enough to understand "in love"..%26amp; probably not at 17%26amp; 18 either...he's maturing %26amp; realizing while he loves you , loves your company, you are not "the" one for him...now, be honest with yourself...are you "in love" with him...or is he just safe...familiar?...like a comforatable old sweater?...It's life..we grow..we change...
Reply:wow, you must be feeling very hurt. I suppose in his defence, you asked him a question and he answered it.


You got together when you were very young I guess, and maybe he just feels he has grown apart from you? it does happen, people fall out of love for all kinds of reasons, it's just a pity when it happens that both parties involved don't fall out of love at the same time, because it normally means one gets hurt and the other does the hurting.


Maybe during that five year break he grew up a lot and realised that while he loves you and will probably always carry that love with him, it isn't the same as it was, first love is always special, but some people make the mistake of mixing up first love with true love, and maybe what he's doing is setting you free to find your true love?


I know it hurts right now, and you're obviously very angry as well, but maybe better that he said what he did rather than string you along knowing his feelings had changed.
Reply:Sounds like you're out of luck for a long-term relationship. Not that he's the one who should do the breaking up--you deserve better than to be in a relationship where he "loves you" but is not "in love with you." You are worth much more than this! Maybe he is trying to let you down easy, even though he's the one who begged you to get back together. He made a mistake. If you make a mistake and somehow marry this guy, he will NOT grow to be in love with you. It doesn't happen. Either he is "in love" or he just cares about you as a friend. Find another guy to give yourself to.
Reply:well i think you should smack the hell out of him and then sit down with him and talk find out why because if he loves you but is not in live with you i think he needs to make up his mind and let you know how he really feels so u can find out if yall have a futher together or not..don't u just hate guys i wish they could have a normal way of letting us know how they feel.. good luck with ur problem
Reply:Tell him you don't think we should continue on if you aren't in love with me. If by now he's not, he's not going to and you shouldn't waste time with him when you can be with the person who will fall in love with you. He's not going to ask you to marry him if he's not in love with you. I would definitly move out and tell him that you have a problem with him since you guys have been together for years and he's not in love with you. Tell him you want to find someone that will fall in love with you and have a future together. You are not there to help him kill time until he finds someone he can fall in love with. Do not settle!!!
Reply:I'm sorry to have to tell you this honey but yes. If someone doesn't love you why stay with them. I hope you find someone who loves you.


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