Love or "In Love"?

What's the difference between being "in love" and loving someone that loves you back? I'm in the longest relationship I've ever been in and we both have already said that we love each other and someone asked me if we loved each other or if we were "in love" so what's the difference, if there is any!

Love or "In Love"?
Basically there are two types of people and two types of romantic love (although type two has a variation for most types of platonic relationships also. You see it often with mothers toward their children.) I think when people say "In Love" they mean eros.





Love type one: Eros love


- This is what they are talking about when you read about the love chemical. It has a huge effect on this stage of love. This is the love Jack and Rose had for each other in Titanic. You feel it in the beginning of a relationship. You are completely obsessed with the other person. Passion and fire is rampant. You rarely think of other things. You tell people you are in love. They can do no wrong in your eyes. It is exciting. You feel completely desired, wanted, and worthwhile. This love has an expiration date. It wears off. You start to see their flaws. It gets old. I've heard this can last up to about three years. Some people let the "love" go, saying it has become boring and they don't feel the same way. Often this is for the best, but sometimes they let go because of immaturity and look for the next best thing, the next high. This first stage of love has to happen to get to the next one. I'm sort of glad it expires, because you wouldn't be very productive or balanced if you were completely obsessed with a person forever.


Love type two: Agape love (agape is an old greek word for "love feast" and I've often heard it adopted in this culture to describe this second type of love)


- If you are lucky, you go into this second stage. This is commitment love. It is characterised by unconditional positive regard, patience, and self-sacrifice. There are ups and downs, but you stick with it bc you realize that real love isn't a feeling, it's actions, loyalty, and grace. This takes maturity and you generally have to have developed a real friendship with the person that will whether the ebb and flow of emotions. Sometimes the fire re-surfaces on special occasions, but it's not as all-consuming or long-lasting and brainless as eros was. This is what the 80 year olds celebrating their 60th anniversary have. This love protects the other's heart and shows love with actions even when they don't FEEL love for the other. Obviously, it seems like this is rare, and it is pretty rare. It requires unselfishness and for people to lay down their pride from time to time. That also takes intelligence. But it happens. They may not always be perfect to each other, but by and large, they go the distance because the majority of the time spent together is this kind of eternal love. You just have to realize that in real life, it's not the fantasy people represent it to be. It's work, it's family. It's not everlasting eros. There is more of a choice, and I think this means more. If it's easy to love and treat you right, you should expect it. If it's a constant effort that reaps sweet rewards, it means a lot.


Love is patient, Love is kind,


It does not envy, it does not boast,


It is not proud, It is not rude,


It is not self-seeking,


It is not easily angered,


It keeps no record of wrongs.


Love does not delight in evil,


but rejoices with the truth.


Love always protects, always trusts,


always hopes, always perseveres.


Love bears all things, believes all things,


hopes all things, endures all things.


L o v e N e v e r F a i l s.


Two types of people: people capable of agape, and people who aren't.
Reply:You can love anyone for any reason. I love my brother, but am not in love with him. You can love a stranger because he is a fellow human being, but you don't know him and have no strong attraction or connection so you can't be in love with him.





If you love your boyfriend (or girlfriend) as a human and good friend, the relationship will always be platonic. Love is platonic. Being in love is deeper and more of a committed feeling.