Love??? Think about a relationship you've had that you told your significant other you loved them. .?

Think of that person, the relationship you had, and why the relationship ended. Now do you think you really loved that person ? Or did you love the way that person made you feel? In a realationship when your partner stops doing the things they used to, and the sex gets less passionate basically they start to change. Is what you think, So of course were not as happy, we ***** more, and sometimes we can get a little insecure. With that there comes more arguing, frustration and stress .So we do what you can to try to make things work out becuase yout think you love this person, but in all reallity, you didnt love them. You loved the way they made you feel .But for the most part we dont realize it or look at it that way. so if you think about it it doesnt make sence to try to save something that was never there to begin with. " i just want peoples opinion on this and about love" thank you

Love??? Think about a relationship you've had that you told your significant other you loved them. .?
I think this is very insightful. You're right that some poeple think they are in love, but really just love the feeling, or the attention. Here's what I think.


Basically there are two types of people and two types of romantic love (although type two has a variation for most types of platonic relationships also. You see it often with mothers toward their children.)


Love type one: Eros love


- This is what they are talking about when you read about the love chemical. It has a huge effect on this stage of love. This is the love Jack and Rose had for each other in Titanic. You feel it in the beginning of a relationship. You are completely obsessed with the other person. Passion and fire is rampant. You rarely think of other things. You tell people you are in love. They can do no wrong in your eyes. It is exciting. You feel completely desired, wanted, and worthwhile. This love has an expiration date. It wears off. You start to see their flaws. It gets old. I've heard this can last up to about three years. Some people let the "love" go, saying it has become boring and they don't feel the same way. Often this is for the best, but sometimes they let go because of immaturity and look for the next best thing, the next high. This first stage of love has to happen to get to the next one. I'm sort of glad it expires, because you wouldn't be very productive or balanced if you were completely obsessed with a person forever.


Love type two: Agape love (agape is an old greek word for "love feast" and I've often heard it adopted in this culture to describe this second type of love)


- If you are lucky, you go into this second stage. This is commitment love. It is characterised by unconditional positive regard, patience, and self-sacrifice. There are ups and downs, but you stick with it bc you realize that real love isn't a feeling, it's actions, loyalty, and grace. This takes maturity and you generally have to have developed a real friendship with the person that will whether the ebb and flow of emotions. Sometimes the fire re-surfaces on special occasions, but it's not as all-consuming or long-lasting and brainless as eros was. This is what the 80 year olds celebrating their 60th anniversary have. This love protects the other's heart and shows love with actions even when they don't FEEL love for the other. Obviously, it seems like this is rare, and it is pretty rare. It requires unselfishness and for people to lay down their pride from time to time. That also takes intelligence. But it happens. They may not always be perfect to each other, but by and large, they go the distance because the majority of the time spent together is this kind of eternal love. You just have to realize that in real life, it's not the fantasy people represent it to be. It's work, it's family. It's not everlasting eros. There is more of a choice, and I think this means more. If it's easy to love and treat you right, you should expect it. If it's a constant effort that reaps sweet rewards, it means a lot.


Love is patient, Love is kind,


It does not envy, it does not boast,


It is not proud, It is not rude,


It is not self-seeking,


It is not easily angered,


It keeps no record of wrongs.


Love does not delight in evil,


but rejoices with the truth.


Love always protects, always trusts,


always hopes, always perseveres.


Love bears all things, believes all things,


hopes all things, endures all things.


L o v e N e v e r F a i l s.


Two types of people: people capable of agape, and people who aren't.
Reply:I think many of us have something missing in us. A hole we want desperately to fill. A desire for happiness and a lack of knowledge about how to obtain it. Sometimes we will put anyone who applies for that job into the hole we have and just sit back and hope they can fill it. For a while, about 2 weeks or so I'd say, nearly anyone can fill it. Suddenly we are wanted, we are attractive, new, fresh, and we finally have someone who will just think we're great. Then they get to know us, we get to know them, our incompatibilities become our main focus instead of working things out and we get LONELY.





The loneliness we feel WHILE SITTING BESIDE SOMEONE can become overwhelming and we start looking for someone else to fill that hole because obviously this person wasn't it.





The cure?


1. Admit that no one person (except God in my opinion) can fit into the hole in our soul.


2. Stop immaturely expecting ALL of our love and affection to come from one person (a job only God could handle, again IMO) and begin appreciating it from all sources, pets, friends, church members who give us hugs, etc....


3. Determine that when/if we do find that one person with whom we can still manage to love deeply at the exact same time that we hate them (typically during a fight) that NO MATTER WHAT we will not "throw it all away" over a fight about ketchup


4. Love ourselves. Become comfortable with the one person we will spend the most time with (ourselves) and start doing what we have to do to take proper care of us. That means doing things we like to do for fun with or without anyone else going along and doing them with us, letting others live however they choose, and practicing being satisfied with what we have instead of crying over what we don't.





If we spent more time fixing ourselves and what's missing in us we would find that pretty much anyone can share a part of our lives without causing major damage and leaving lots of scar tissue for the next person to try to work with. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't have to be the end of the world, and it doesn't mean we're ugly or too fat, lol. We can look for the good in every situation instead of only the bad.





When we find a way to be grateful and look for the good in everything we start to learn how to do things differently than we ever did before. When we start to do things differently we are changing our lives forever. When we are looking for what is good, we are looking toward a solution to our problems. The key to not having to keep repeating the same chapters of our more miserable times is to learn from our mistakes. We can't do that as long as we forget to find something to hope for. If we only focus on what hurts us we miss out on what doesn't. The things that don't hurt us are the things that really put life into our lives. But we can overlook those things when we sit there feeling sorry for ourselves to the point that we don't notice that good things are happening too. Everyone has hard times in life, and that's how it is supposed to be. Our problems aren't any worse than everyone else's. What is different is those few people in the world who one day DECIDED that they would be happy. They are different because from then on they WERE!!!





Love and let go. Happiness is a choice. Nobody else will take care of you if you don't because you are the only one who knows what you need. Only you can make your face smile.
Reply:1. Sex ends all interest.





2. You don't fall in love, you fall in a hole. The depth of the hole is proportionate to how oblivious you are of the fall.





3. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.





4. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.