Love or in love?

How do you know for sure if you're "in love" with someone vs. just loving them? There's a huge difference and in relationships, I think the most important thing is to be in love with the person. You can love someone, but love isn't always enough. So how do you know when you're in love?

Love or in love?
when you are with them for a year , and you still feel the same way
Reply:You are in love when he the first person that you think about when you wake up in the morning. He is the last person that you think about before closing your eyes at night. He is always on your mind, night and day.
Reply:if you have to ask then you're not.
Reply:love or in love it all the same thing is the most beautiful feeling but is painful too
Reply:When you cant get this person off your mind , when you want to be close to this person 24 7 , When this persons name comes out of your mouth everytime you open it , when you dream of this person , and want to do things for them , yes there is a big difference .
Reply:You're right about the fact that being "in love" and loving someone are two different things. I just finished reading a really good book by author Gary Chapman called 'The Five Love Languages' that explains it really well. I'll quote from his book a bit here, but it's definitely worth the read.





Dr. Chapman says: "....the 'in love' experience is euphoric. We are emotionally obsessed with each other. We go to sleep thinking of each other. When we rise that person is the first thought on our minds." "The person who is 'in love' has the illusion that his beloved is perfect. His mother can see the flaws but he can't." "....the eternality of the 'in love' experience is fiction, not fact. Dr. Dorothy Tennov......concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years. Eventually......our eyes are opened, and we see the warts of the other person. We recognize that some of his/her personality traits are actually irritating. Her behavior patterns are annoying."





"Some researchers......have concluded that the in-love experience should not be called 'love' at all." "Dr. (M. Scott) Peck concludes that the falling in love experience is not real love for three reasons. First, falling in love is not an act of will or a conscious choice."....."Second, falling in love is not real love because it is effortless."....."Third, one who is 'in love' is not genuinely interested in fostering the personal growth of the other person." "If falling in love is not real love, what is it? Dr. Peck concludes that it 'is a genetically determined instinctual component of mating behavior.......a stereotypic response of human beings to a configuration of internal sexual drives and external sexual stimuli......' "





"Does that mean.......we are now faced with two options: (1) we are destined to a life of misery with our spouse, or (2) we must jump ship and try again?" "Research seems to indicate that there is a third and better alternative: we can recognize the in-love experience for what it was--a temporary emotional high--and now pursue 'real love' with our spouse. That kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be love by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving."





"That kind of love requires effort and discipline. It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction."...."It does not require the euphoria of the 'in love' experience. In fact, true love cannot begin until the 'in love' experience has run its course."**





I hope that helps %26amp; it's not too longwinded for you. But I seriously recommend reading the book, it helped to clear up some things for me %26amp; will help me to be a better wife to my husband. God Bless and good luck.
Reply:Love =friend, parents


In love = boyfriend / girlfriend
Reply:Debby you are 101% correct! Your question however is very difficult to answer. How do you know? Well, it's just different. When you are in love you feel both confident and safe to take the relationship to that special level where the bond is unique and unconditional. I think a lot of us are in love with the idea of being in love. I loved my wife, but was not in love with her. When you look back at relationships that are over, you wonder about them in these terms. Being honest with yourself sometime hurts, but it's part of the growing process. I wish being in love was not so fleeting--it's like being in a tropical waterfall and all of a suddenly the water stops. I think I was in love once. I recollect well the intimacy, the issues, the difference between love and in love, and also what it feels to have your heart broken.
Reply:If you're questioning it...you may not be in love....


It's SO cliche...but you just know....there isn't any doubt about it....you're only wanting to be with JUST that person....no ifs ands or buts about it babe :)
Reply:We love our family, we love our friends...we're only "in love" with our romantic partner...and there's a big enough difference between the two that when someone is "in love" they know it...





Love isn't enough for a romantic relationship to last too long...to stay without being "in love" would be a form of settling.
Reply:love is for ur parents, siblings, relatives, friends, inlove is for someone who gave u happiness, make ur day complete just being with him or hearing his /her voice, and when u miss him everyminute,make u inspired, and someone u dont want to be hurt, and drive u crazy everytime his?her around,
Reply:love means to have strong good feelings for someone and that you like them in the friend or relative kinda way, unconditional





IN love means to feel that you have to have them in your life for you to be happy. to love someone so much, that if the love was broken, you would feel as if you werent whole anymore.





to know that you're in love, there are signs, but the signs are different with everyone, so you're on your own with that one.
Reply:If all you can do all day long is think about them. Whether they are with you or not. If you cannot get them off of your mind even for two seconds. And if whenever you see this special someone and look into their eyes and all you can do is smile no matter how bad you feel b/c you know that they are going to make you feel better. THAT IS HOW YOU KNOW!
Reply:You know you're IN love when you can see the world in their eyes and when you're not with them you realize that that person is the one that completes you in every way. When you love someone you just care about them and it's more of a friendship thing.
Reply:you can tell if your in love if you want to be with them at all times and if you get butterflies and your heart beats really fast everytime you see that person and you can stand to be with them all the time
Reply:Being "in love" just means you two share a connection and you both feel it. Love is best used as a verb to make relationships work.