Monday, April 12, 2010

Is real love irrevocable, as in, can you with draw from love after some time, ?

Is real love irrevocable, as in, can you with draw from loveafter 12 Years of marriage?





Dear Planet Earth Yahoo friends,





One question is boiling in me to steam, since long. With no prejudice, need to know that, "is love revocable", I mean, can true love be , fished in the net at will and finished?, can we love and withdraw/stop loving, pretend to not love, at our choice ,to finish love, due to the situations/financial/stability conditions/age/behaviour/or speach? OR love is so pure and deep rooted to be un effected of circumstances/back biting of dear one's or tides of of the times.

Is real love irrevocable, as in, can you with draw from love after some time, ?
I'll make this short. I personally believe you can fall out of love in some way. You may "Love" a person for a very long time but after things south with the relationship you may not be "In Love" with them any longer. So I guess my answer is yes, I do think you can fall out of love with someone. But you'll probably always have some special place for them inside. Know what I mean??
Reply:First of all, with all due respect to you and any others who answer, LOVE is an emotion, usually driven chemically, and nearly impossible to DEFINE in that it's an irrational (albeit nice) emotion.





The issue is more about what causes the emotion, even beyond Lust.





I'll give you a personal example but certainly it can relate to millions of couples.





I guess I thought I was IN LOVE, when I connected with my now EX wife, in 1972. We remained "married" for 25 years, but I can hardly define every moment as "loving"





Consider what attracts us. Obviously in large measure it can be physical, but at any depth it better be a lot more, if it has any chance of beating current divorce stats.





An analogy: I have always been passionate about my writing. I was blind to any clues that my "love" interest wasn't, but never denied my own passion. I admit it was suppressed to a degree. In some defense of her; I also, upon analysis, over time, wasn't very interested in HER interests either, and it caused subtle and blatant divisions.





As a species we are designed to evolve, and hopefully do. That said, with regard to a Love interest, it's obviously possible to evolve in opposite directions, without strictly UN LOVING the other on some levels.





Another issue may be Love the Self, first and foremost, in order to better know, and feel, what it might be best defined as. If one can attain that, then it's even possible to LOVE ones enemy, on some level.





To close I offer this. A very susinct lyric from the Rolling Stones.





"You can't always get what you want,,, BUT if you try,,, sometimes you get what you need."





Steven Wolf
Reply:There are many forms, and names, for love. Some diminish, or expire; some do not. Most of what people call love is based on an expectation of personal satisfaction. Real love, I think, is focussed on the loved one rather than the lover (self). It therefor grows with growing understanding, and familiarity. It seeks to serve the "other's" interests. It is not possessive. It delights in what delights the "other". It's best demonstrated in the love of a parent for a child (although much that parades as that is basically self-serving, possessive, and so on). That's why a truly loving parent can never disown a loved child, no matter what they do. Most adult "loves" are not like that - they are more inclined to be self-serving infatuations, or mirrors in a way. That's why they often tire, or are disappointed over time and with increasing understanding and familiarity - 0r with our own change, self-knowledge, or insight. When they do, the "love" affair is finished, but unless we have been too badly treated, we may wisely retain affection, and even gratitude for what has been, whether we seperate or not. After all, every relationship helps make us whoever we have become. So the affair may be revoked, but some relationship remains, within the limits of other relationships etc we have entered. Love based on understanding and mutual curiosity can change and survive. It is no less love for being mutually supportive and comfortable in old age, with or without sex or passion. And then - there's often a kind of chemical magic in adult infatuation or love at its best, that seems impossible to explain. It can be rare to find, strike unexpectedly, often creating havoc; its attraction too can fade or die, or can survive and persist against all odds, and even grow more powerful. It can rarely be "revoked" but it is a personal decision on the pain/pleasure principle whether one should withdraw from it, or not. Withdrawing invariably leaves scars, but may be vital to a quiet contented life. If one has the good fortune to find a soul-mate in it - or if one has the emotional and other strengths for it - one might regard it on the Nietsche principle I paraphrase as "What doesn't kill fattens"!
Reply:Love is an emotion, not a contract. Emotions must be focused on and renewed to last. This is true of any emotion. Depression and sadness last only as long as people dwell on their causes. Anger fades as time goes on, unless the fires are stoked almost daily. Love is the same way. If you let life distract you, one day you'll turn to your love to find no feelings remain, just a familiarity and a sense of comfort.
Reply:like, they say words cant describe true depth of feelings......but i'll try my best in answerin..if ur talkin about pure love, that can never fade away, despite anythin...and if it does start to go away or disappear, 100% guarantee, one can know then ...that it was never the pure love. it might be true but not pure.
Reply:This depends on your definition of love. If you say that love is a relationship, such as dating etc., then you may be mislead. True love is regardless of the situation...it's a kind of mutual state of resonance between two people. If it is true love, yes, the relationship can be called off or they can break up, but the love will still be there. It's not like a lightbulb that can be turned on and off with your disposition, it's like a property of matter--it just IS!
Reply:true love is irrevocable because if it wasn't, truth wouldn't be eternal.
Reply:YES
Reply:The Will is positive, the Judgment is negative. My experience: You can make yourself believe what you want, but that is not the truth of your internal matter, spirit. The real other is real but contingent condition, love is principle, a constituent of the Spirit, universal, particular and individual. In self, it is self consciousness, but it is not a product of intellectual conceptualization, it is of the Spirit, and as a positive, it is of the Will, but it is not the choice itself.
Reply:12 years?





my love lasts barely a night!
Reply:My short answer is that 'love' for me doesn't include participation in my own rejection or abuse. IF someone has a history of rejecting me and creating problems etc. the better question is what would motivate me to reconnect with that person? That isn't love dear.......it's just rejection and abuse. I choose Love instead........


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