Love poem...rate it?

tell me what you think


1- really bad


2-not too bad


3- ok


4-good


5-great





My love for you will never end, my heart will never stop beating for you,


You are my soul my life, and the beat of my heart, every beat my heart makes it’s for you my love,


I may not show my love for you always and I may not say it as much as I should


but tonight under this full moon with a white rose in one hand and with your hand in my other, down on my keens I say with all my heart you are my one true love, and I love you.


My darling there is no other like you in this world for me, you are my one and truly, my love with this kiss I give to you my heart, soul and everything that I am. I LOVE YOU

Love poem...rate it?
I give it a 2...sorry, but it's a love "prose", not a love poem. Why? Because it reads like a love letter...where are the poetic devices? You're "telling us" when you should be "showing us". You could have said, "I hold the moon in my hand as the stars shine in your eyes" or "my heart beats in tune with the music of the stars"...instead you 'told' us what you were doing and described the items as if they were on a grocery list. It's not your desire or feelings that are missing, it's your lack of poetic description.





Remember, prose tells, poetry shows...poetry must paint the images from the inside as well as the outside, and you can't do that by just writing a paragraph of emotional description.





try again...keep writing
Reply:You're very welcome. I do think you have a poetic muse within you...just don't try so hard and let the feelings you have help you paint "how" you feel...not "what" you feel and I think you'll be fine. Report It

Reply:I would rate it a five! I loved it. Report It

Reply:pretty deep il give u an 8 minus 3 for it
Reply:4
Reply:its nice but a bit on the off beat. i rate it 3.2


Best of Luck
Reply:i wil giv 4....make it red rose....
Reply:i rate it 4 and where you wrote:





I may not say it as much as I should......





I think you should make it :





I may not say it as much as I should do





cos it sounds better (levels it out)

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